reminiscing

When clock hit 12 today, I was busy like the doctors of East Avenue Medical Center. They were busy attending to patients; me and my crew were busy doing our program’s yearly coverage.

This is my third time to cover ER on a New Year’s Eve. It’s sad that I missed our family’s New Year celebration for the third time but more than that, it’s heartbreaking for me to miss that few seconds of thanksgiving prayers that I usually utter few seconds before the year ends.

That personal moment, where in a flash, I make recollections of the things, events and persons that became part of my year, with a silent prayer and wishes of a better year ahead.

Because I was too busy with work, I failed to do that.. and didn’t get the chance to do it even right after coverage because I was too sleepy.

At around 10 am, I woke up with familiar songs from my computer. I was still dozed but I managed to ask my sister, “where did you get those music? “

“from your files.” she answered.

I wondered in silence. I thought those files were already deleted.. But as they were playing in the background, it was like I was walking memory lane, back in 2005.

In January 2005, exactly three yeas ago, I made one bold decision in my career. I left Emergency without any concrete career plan. All I wanted was to break free from the very challenging demands of being one of the program’s researchers.

I celebrated my newly-coveted-freedom in the beach. It was so perfect.. I was in a daze. I felt like I was in some kind of a movie taking notes of the soundtrack playing in the background..

And when I got back in Manila, I was jobless but very happy.

I chose to immortalize my first month of that year in a ‘soundtrack ng buhay ko!” I bought a Personal Computer, I downloaded those songs, and made two copies.

Soon I got back to work, cuz I was running out of cash .. and totally forgot about those songs and the files. I thought they were already deleted from my PC, until I heard almost all of the tracks today. And for a while, I felt that same happiness that eventful month of January.

That year when I chose to do what I really wanted to do. That year when I was fearless not knowing what to do.. And though the months after were difficult for me, I would always go back to that moment of happiness. It was short, compressed, but definitely complete!

And today, as I face another year.. I pray that I may have the courage to face the unknown, maybe embrace changes, be bolder and conquer new territories. I want to explore more beaches, visit more countries, meet new people, hear more songs and make more memories.