wAnDer GirL

#kilig

2011-11-06T16:26:00.000+08:00

i am sooo kinikilig :)
i just have to tell! hahahaha :)
50-50 chances?
it's ok... :)

Working on Tv

2010-12-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

I am not really an outgoing person. But definitely, i can't stay in a desk for 9 hours doing paper works.

So, i thought I really belong to a tv network. At first, i dreamt of becoming a newscaster or an anchor.

I could still vividly remember that moment in my life when i joined one tv singing contest in GMA-7. Bert Marcelo, one of the hosts asked me, "Ano'ng gusto mo paglaki mo?" and I immediately answered, "Gusto ko po maging newscaster!"

Then he dared me to act like as if i'm a newscaster.

I wasn't ready, but I came up with these exact words .. "Mga kaibigan, ngayon po ay bumabagyo!"

I was just 11.

Forward to 28 years later, my dream came true, at least somehow. I am not a newscaster, but I've entered the industry that i've dreamt to be part of! I worked as a researcher, segment producer and now an Edit supervisor.

After 7 years of working in the tv industry, I must say, that i really do love the job! It has become a passion. When you're in this industry. It doesnt matter, whether you sleep or not. You would opt to miss important dates, than to miss your airing. Your story becomes your baby, so you forget to plan to make your own baby some time..

So fast-paced.

So fast, that sometimes and one day you would realize that the job snatched away the prime years of your life.

for those who would want to stay, the prime years are better spent in the job,.

to some, it's a waste.

to me.. it's confusing.

WORRIED? USELESS

2009-12-15T12:26:00.002+08:00

worried? useless.

Sat at 7:10pm | Edit Note | Delete

in such difficult time when i was too worried about my life and my career, i came accross a story in one of my books..

"A man lost his job and he would soon lose his house. But was never worried! His friend asked, 'why are you not worried, you've lost your job and ul soon lose your property?'

The man answered, 'I hired someone to do the worrying for me! And I will pay him 10,000 US dollars a month!

The friend was soo surprised and thought the man was insane. So he asked, "How are you going to pay this man you hired?"

And the man answered with a smile, "It's his job to worry about that!"

Well, worrying is useless. Let it be... :)

* story written based from what i could recall

obra sa balat

2009-02-01T13:08:00.002+08:00

They call it "body art." From tattoo to branding and scalpelling.. choose from burn or scar! Both are extreme body modification techniques... and only a few can live up with the challenge of excruciating pain of such so called "skin designs."

Full story in Emergency "obra sa balat."

BLOG ulit

2008-09-26T19:24:00.000+08:00

Dati, sinabihan ako ng boss ko, “yung mga nagbabalog, papansin lang!” Bago pa lang kasi ang blog noon, ni hindi nga alam ng iba kung ano ang blog. Kahit nga ako, hindi ko malalaman ito kung hindi dahil kay kuya Ederic na sawang sawa na sa mga kwentong sawi ng buhay pag-ibig ko five years ago. Kahit kasi hindi ko ikwento sa kanya, ikinukwento ko naman kay BR, at naririnig niya. Hindi siguro kami makapagtrabaho ng maayos sa “Bio-data” noon dahil sa kaka-daldal ko tungkol sa aking sawing pag-ibig. Kaya di na niya napigilang sabihin sa akin, “magblog ka, tapos dun mu isulat ang mga nararamdaman mo!” Binigay niya sa akin ang address ng blurty at simula noon, nagsimula na akong magsulat ng blog.

Pero hindi totoong nagpapapansin ka kung nagbablog ka. Hindi naman lahat ng nagbabalog ay nag-aanyaya ng magbabasa ng mga isinulat mong saloobin, gaya ko. Walang akong makausap noon, mahilig akong magsulat .. eh andiyan ang blog!

Limang taon na ang nakalipas simula ng magblog ako. May mga ilang pagkakataon na muntik na akong mapahamak dahil sa blog. Nababasa kasi ng hindi dapat makabasa. Meron ding ibang kaibigan, hindi gusto ang picture nila na nilagay ko sa blog ko.. kaso mahirap magbura, effort! hehehe

Ngayon meron na akong napagkukuwentuhan ng mga saloobin ko kaya bihira na ang pagsusulat. Masyado na rin akong abala at pagod para magsulat. At minsan, pakiramdam ko, mas masarap magsulat kung malungkot ka, o broken-hearted ka ...

Kaya siguro ako nagsusulat ngayon. Kaya siguro gusto kong magsulat ng magsulat... L

Isa pa, nabasa ko ang blog ni jeco. Nacurious ako sa ibang entry, napangiti sa ilang entry na napabilang ang pangalan ko. Kaya, sabi ko, “shit, nainggit ako! Magbabalog ulit ako!”
Kailangan ko nga lang ibahin ang template nito ... Nasisikipan ako sa espasyo! Jeco, tulungan mo ako!

summer 2008

2008-07-14T10:55:00.003+08:00

I grew up never enjoying summer vacation... because of the following reasons:

1. Our family don’t have a province to go to for vacation.
2. My mom was not a fan of resorts and beaches so we never had a single family getaway until i finally could afford to sponsor one myself for the family.!
3. Summer Vacation for me only meant killing time by reading my sweet valley high collections and other teeny bopper pocket books .

In short, summer for me was a boring two month off from school and a continuous battle against the scorching rays of the summer sun! No recollection of white beaches, grand resort (well, except for some simple outing sponsored by our classes), not even summer love! Pathetic meeh.

But come, 2004, I was able to go to Guimaras and for the first time I was awe-struck with its pristine view of the sea, the powder-like sand and the perfect sunset.

Then, I went to Puerto Galera, and from then on, I’ve become a fan of beaches and promised to visit at least one every year!

Subic became an accessible Subic getaway for me with friends and Rommel. Still, I could not bring my mom along at any beach until i got soo successful this year!

LAIYA, SAN JUAN
Family Outing

I had a very hard time scouting for resorts on line, and everytime i found a seemingly-perfect beach for my family (at an affordable price), I would be told that it’s fully booked!

Kabayan was perfect destination and suited for our small budget, but when i was about to book it, they did not even reply to texts and even calls! And after the hundredth try, finally a not-so-friendly-sounding woman answered and blatantly said, “we’re fully booked!”

Whoaa, i got a lil furious! I thought, resort personnels should be accommodating and friendly even if your establishment is “fully-booked!” i felt like, she wanted to say “ohh, we’re soo fully booked, don’t bother!” instead of saying “oh, we’re sorry ma’am, we’re fully booked but we have available rooms on the following dates.. “

Well, manners doesn’t come handy these days! Good thing, i caught in the search page Sigayan – a not so cozy beach resort but has well-mannered personnels! Plus, there was an available cottage, that has a kitchen, veranda, and 15 beds for only 5,500! So i grabbed the chance and for the first time, I was able to bring my mom to a beach resort with the rest of our family!

our clan. kulang pa yan!

ate pong, ate ning and ate lita posing at the facade of our Cottage.

we're cousins!!

feeling models..

at our cottage ..

kurt and mama enjoying the beach for the first time!

i got a visa!

2008-03-30T19:22:00.002+08:00

i want to sing one of Miss Saigon's musicale soundtrack..

"wot's this i smell in the air? the american dream .."

then another song from that same musicale keeps ringing in my head

(kim asking help from the engineer when she shot thuy)

engineer, thuy is dead, he was going to kill my baby and shot..

we must leave time and time, we must get to america tonight

engineer: .. alright, just like that?

*************

ahh.. people are dying to see america.

well, US is not really a dreamplace for me .. cuz nobody will beat England as my dream country (and yes, i will be there someday!) But because, im a wanderer, it would be great to see this country being thought of as a land of dreams. Hmm, and now that I got my visa, I can go there anytime soon!!

I just have to worry about my airfare and a place to stay though hihihi.. But at least, Im one step done *winks* .. how much steps more? 10, 20? i dont care.

Il worry about them one day at a time! lol

My 2008 out of the country trip treat

2008-03-19T20:47:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE DAY 1: February 02, 2008

The day before our departure for Singapore, i was going gaga over my “mantika segment.” It was already Friday, yet my researcher was still shooting bulk of my segment. Two crews were deployed for me that day to complete the surveillance, the inspection and other elements I needed to complete my story.
In short, I was still at GMA until 8 pm!!
Anyweis, I was only able to pack on the day of my flight! M not really a light packer, so i just put all the stuffs I think i would need for the trip, including a gimik attire, winter clothes for Genting, and summer clothes! Name it, i have it!
So all in all, Iv one big trolley, and four more bags hehe.. (well, i put the pasalubongs for Armie and friends).
So at 4pm, we were ready to go!

FIRST TIME AT NAIA AIRPORT

The trip was my third out of the country getaway. And my first time to arrive and depart at NAIA airport! Call it weird , but I was looking forward to seeing the interior of our oldest International airport. Well, I would always remember walking my OFW titos and tita there .. FINALLY, i had my turn. But it was really a shock when i got inside.. uck, it was soo hot inside, seems like the aircon was zillion years old! The place was a mess.. the check-in counters were crowded! And here’s more, we had to line up three different lines for the Philippine travel tax and for the airport fee and check-in counter. It could have been better if we pay the tax and the airport fee at the same time right? Oh well, the airport is supposedly the first tourist spot of every country.. and it says a lot about that country!
Well, NAIA says a lot about our country huh?
Anyweis, we were able to make it on time at our 8:00 Cebu Pacific flight, then I made it to Singapore for the second time!

BAGGAGE SWITCH AT THE BUDGET TERMINAL

I thought baggage switch at the airport only happens in movies. The usual plot, there is a baggage switch, the other bag either contains a fortune or some “pektus” and the other is of no significance. The owner of the “better” baggage would start tracking the person who got his bag and the story goes on.
We just experienced this at Budget Terminal.

I had about eight bags in total and i was busy picking each of them in the baggage area. And when i thought i had all of the bags, we had a taxi to armie’s.
When we were unloading our bags from the compartment of the taxi, there was one more unfamiliar bag.. and the driver said, “this is yours!” I just screamed when I saw the black bag because in that instance, I knew that I left mom’s trolley bag!

It was weird, cuz aside from they’re both black, mama’ s was a trolley and the one we got was just your regular baggage bag, and they also had different prints! Aggh, call it katangahan. So at 1am, armie, jeco and i went back to the airport to switch bags.

Good thing, the airport had mama’s bag. And we returned the bag we accidentally got.
The airport crew told us smiling, “there was a big difference huh..”

Singapore welcomes me back ..

2008-03-19T20:45:00.001+08:00

SINGAPOR E DAY2, February 3, 2008
ESPLANADE
Walking the streets of Singapore for the second time was like walking home.. I feel like i know the place very well. Although it is just a small country, (they say Metro Manila is even bigger).. there’s still a lot of place to discover.
Well, I missed Esplanade the last time.. so we toured it this time! MMM, nothing spectacular here .. but twas nice to see this
We had lunch at Suntec .. Then went off at SIM LIM.

at merlion, the second time around

SIM LIM SQUARE
Sim Lim is a lot similar to Greenhills..
All the elements in the tianggean, is ever present here. . You have the barkers., calling u “sister.” You have the tawaran portions.. and of course you have the blabbermouth who will hook u with a low-price item but when u decide to buy it, they’ll inform u (only that time) that there are these taxes and these taxes.

So after getting so drained with the haggling prices with Singaporeans, we took home one digital camera .. not so much of an achievement, after nearly five hours in the mall!

SAKURA – EAT ALL U CAN!
Anyweis, Armie and Rob reserved a table for us at Sakura, an eat all u can Jap Resto. During my first visit, Armie gave me a treat in this Resto (at Pasir Ris) after visiting Snow World. I am Japanese food adictus .. so treating ourselves at Sakura was a great idea!
Well, it was a lot better because ROB paid for our bill .. hehe. That was not less than five thousand pesos i guess. Yaman ni ROB!

swoosh, hirap pumili sa sooobrang daming food..

busog ang mga tummies!

Wandering Sentosa the second time around

2008-03-19T20:14:00.001+08:00

Singapore 3rd Day, February 4,2008
SENTOSA AGAIN?
Yea, call it weird, but i have to go to Sentosa again, last time with Isel, this time.. with Jeco and mom! The first time, we just went to Underwater world and watched the Musical Fountain.
But since we have a half day free on our third day, we roamed Sentosa like i never did before!

We went there via sentosa train at Vivo City. Our first stop was the beach. We had to ride a tram to go from one beach to the other. And although for me, Beach means Boracay (well, i haven’t been to Palawan and Bohol yet), Sentosa beach is ok.. (im trying to be nice). But we have to understand that Singapore was just a docking port before so they don’t have beaches that we take pride of!

L.. for love! at siloso beach..

we want everything covered,. :)

Well, at least, the sand were off white (not black, or brown), the waters are relatively clean.
Just bad though that instead of seeing the horizon, (or mountains on the horizon), u see ships and cargos hehehe.

SKYRIDE AND LUGE
After wandering around Siloso beach, we had a top view of Sentosa thru the skyride! It was funny cuz my mom was cursing me when we were up there! Haha. Twas an open air ride and if ur afraid of heights, u wont really enjoy it. Jeco and I had to divert my mom’s attention though.
After the ride, we had soo much fun in the luge. MM.. i don’t know wot it is really (sorry) but it’s like a go cart with no machine.. but it was cool! Really cool!

mga seryoso sa luge hehehe

mom, on her first sky ride hehehe.. (galit na iyan sa akin) lol

First Timer in Indonesia

2008-03-19T20:08:00.004+08:00

BINTAN, INDONESIA 5th day February 6, 2008

Talk about adventure .. well, our trip to Indonesia was unforgettable! We were suppose to drop this iti but Jeco and Armie already booked the trip.. So to Indonesia we went on Wednesday.
The one hour ferry ride was suppose to be tolerable except for the hurly burly ride hehe.. kasi naman, super maalon to the max! As in everyone was puking! Even mama and jeco.. eeeww!

Thanks to Emergency coverages, I was kinda used to ‘bumpy’ rides, so i was one of the few who didn’t throw up.

But the cabin crew were soo ready.. They were all over the place with tissue and a plastic bag. So it was not messy and kadiri.

We arrived at Bintan at around 10 am. argh, it was like we’re in the outskirts of our country! The place was sooooo humid, soo sunny and sooo very Philippines haha.
PASER OLEH OLEH

After drinking my welcome drinks at Nirwana Beach Resort, hehe .. We went to Paser Oleh Oleh (so odd to pronounce). It’s a small town where we bought some souvenirs, of course, couldn’t forget my MAGNET! Because it was so hot, we had to buy a sarong. And we had our sarong in our heaven while walking to the market to have our lunch.

The market was just like ours .. Except, it’s a bit cleaner! We decided to dine in a carenderia which offers yummy foods.. I forgot wot i ordered, but it’s a curry based chicken, and for someone who loves curry, i give it five spoons for my ratings! I also had a canned fruit drink which tasted like alatiris (or aratiris ba yun? that small red round fruit).. i hope we can have something like that here.

Though we paid in Singapore dollars, the meals were still way way cheaper than in Singapore! But the manong gave us change in rupiah. And it was cute cuz they ‘re currency are thousands. It’s like their one peso is one thousand rupiah, so i had five thousand rupiah for my change! hehe .. feeling ko ang dami kong pera! lol

at the ferry..

welcome, welcome! :)

the coaster going to Paser Oleh Oleh

ito ang authentic indonesian food .. lutong bahay sa palengke hehe

NIRWANA RESORT
Not bad for a beach! I love it.

GOING BACK TO MALAYSIA

2008-03-19T20:05:00.002+08:00

camwhoring at petronas towers

KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA, 6TH DAY, FEBRUARY 7, 2008
Another repeat performance for me.. hehe. Armie was our tour operator for this trip haha! Thanks to her who had to haggle EIGHT bus tickets to and from Malaysia, and she also booked us to a very nice hotel in the middle of Chinese holiday! Galing no!

So after cam whoring at KLCC (petronas tower), and did some shopping at the shopping mall at Petronas towers, mother and I stayed at the hotel!
After five days of full-packed itinerary, this was the only day that we were able to sleep and rest well.

GENTING, MALAYSIA, 7th day, FEBRUARY 8
After getting sooo full with our buffet breakfast at the hotel,we checked out and ran off to the buS station going to Genting. I was excited about Genting because I heard great things about this place.
But getting there was HORRIBLE!
Because it was a holiday, everyone was cramming to get an out of town get away. Could u imagine, thousands of people at the bus station wanting to buy tickets to different places in Malaysia? Whoaaa,. It was a headache! That was a BIG SIGN, that there was a slim chance for us to buy our tickets.. but thanks to two opportunist Malaysians who offered us a win-lose Deal, 120 malaysian ringgit for one taxi for five people. “taga” talaga! Because the bus ticket only cost 5 ringgit! That was 500 percent expensive!!
I was soo irritated actually because they were taking advantage of the situation, but because we were already set for Genting, (with my winter clothes on) , we had to bite the bait.
BEFORE HIGHLANDS
To go to the highlands, we had to ride a cable car. It is one of the longest in Asia .. but the queue was also the longest in my entire life!! Whoaaaa, it was a two floor queue! Daig ang lahat ng blockbuster movie sa Pilipinas!
After an hour of queueing, we were able to sit comfortably at the cable car. Somehow, the view up there, took away all the exhaustion. Buti na lang!

GENTING HIGHLANDS
Good thing it was cold in Genting, because if not, we would go nuts with the humongous number of people in the place. Whoaaaa, everyone seemed to have the same idea we had of going to Genting.. like hundreds of thousand! (lesson learned .. don’t go there on a holiday).
Anyways, we tried to squeeze in light moments to a very stressful trip! We took pictures at Times Square, at Eiffel tower and some other places.
The ride at the theme park, where we were like super heroes flying, was also a highlight!
And of course, who could resist the weather? One of the coldest I have felt soo far and i oh so love it!

GOING BACK TO KUALA LUMPUR
Going back to Kuala Lumpur was twice as difficult as going to Genting. Rod had to queue for the Bus Tickets. Everyone was going ballistic over the tickets! We couldn’t afford not to go back though because first, all the hotels at Highlands are fully booked and second, our trip to Singapore was at 11pm!
So, we had to wait long time at the Genting Bus Station while Rob queued for us (thanks rob!).
Finally, we got our tickets scheduled at 8 pm!
It was funny cuz in Singapore, everything is organized. In Malaysia, everything is like chaos.
Although, we already had our tickets,the bus number was not indicated. So we had to be soo vigilant for busses arriving, then ask if the trip was going Kuala Lumpur. At 8pm though (at least they’re kinda on time), our Bus arrived. And though, they already issued tickets, everyone was pushing towards the door! Siyempre kaming walong pinoy, nandun agad sa harapan.. (mga batang quaiapo at alabang kame), pero super hirap cuz the people at the back were pushing us!
Oh well, we were able to get ourselves seated though. And those who were pushing weren’t able to get in because they have no tickets. They thought they could be chance passenger! But no way.

We were already relieved until two Chinese was asking me and mama to get off our seats! They were two oldies na super yabang and super maldita making a scene in the bus. I told them that there were no seating arrangements .. but they insisted, and were really making a scene! Patience patience! They were fortunate that i was not in my country, so I gave in and moved to Armie’s seats.

Kakatawa dahil kame pa ang nawalan ng upuan.

Anyhow, despite all our misadventures at Genting, it was one of a kind experience. But i told myself, i would never go back hahaha. I love my country more than Malaysia.
And i was just sooo glad when we got to our bus to Singapore .. After a tiring two-days at Malaysia, it was a relief that i would go back to the country which is like a second home.

at the bus station, genting, malaysia

inside first world hotel

last day in Singapore, Feb 9- Saturday

2008-03-11T15:44:00.000+08:00

WE went to Funan and bought Kim her laptop. We had last minute shopping at Charles and Keith at Raffles City which I love sooo much!

We had a special dinner at the Hawker near Armie’s place and she and rob treated us with the best sugpo ever! And other sea food specialty..

Before Armie and I part ways, she gave me a Birthday present .. awwww .. a book. She is really sooo sweet. She also gave mom and Jeco.

I know it would take again a year or so for us to meet again, but she would always be the very close friend il ever have, even if we live oceans apart.

And i would look forward to more out of the country trips together.. :)

why..

2008-01-24T18:09:00.000+08:00

Heath Ledger found dead in New York

"NEW YORK - Actor Heath Ledger, the gifted leading man acclaimed for his role as a gay cowboy in the film "Brokeback Mountain," was found dead in his Manhattan apartment on Tuesday, possibly of a drug overdose, police said. - Reuters"

I was deeply saddened when I heard the news over dzbb yesterday! How could a beautiful, talented man die so sudden .. at a very young age .. Ang dami naman diyang iba..

Haaay ..

one of my favorite movies of all time.. THE PATRIOT.

i admired heath the first time in this movie .. even before BROKEBACK.

bored .. zzz

2008-01-19T16:22:00.000+08:00

Three days and I’ve been home killing time.. Haha! It’s one of those rare occasions when I get the chance to bum around.

Usually, im in front of the computer surfing the net!

I check the recap of my favorite US suspense drama priosnbreak.. chat non-sense with strangers for few minutes, check my mail every 15 minutes, trying to get busy playing travel agent with our upcoming trip to Singapore and Malaysia (again). Then I will check on my friendster account and see nothing of importance, so I will snoop on other’s accounts.. ex’s accounts, stranger’s accounts, for all I care!

Then when I get oh-so bored, I will read the book that im reading for 6 months now and still 2 chapters away from ‘fin’ .. I try my best to take off my mind from getting to the fridge or the kitchen so I could at least, not loose, but prevent fats to add up to my bulging hips and tummy!

But my eyes could only take soo much words and paragraphs at the moment.. or maybe it is just my attention span slipping away! it’s getting shorter and shorter everyday, I noticed!

So I would doodle with my old cell phone,. And prepaid simcard, looking for someone interesting to text! I would text my researcher from time to time asking for story updates, trying hard not to be intrusive and nosy and bitchy at the same time!

But it seems, my cell phone is not so enticing… after all, it only has a ‘talk and text’ feature!

So I would play with my brother.. play more.. and I love that bonding moments with him (with my mom too).. But too often, he would be annoyed by my presence and would shun me away.

So I would seek refuge again from my room .. and then face the computer again!

Whattaboring life! Haha.. Especially if ur stuck at home because ur saving every penny you have for your out of the country getaway! but I am thankful..

I should be ready for my airing weeks, then sleep would be a luxury again! And all these would be history ..(again)

i look forward to ...

2008-01-10T18:07:00.000+08:00

february 3-10 2008 .. the wandergurl will wander the streets of singapore and malaysia again. though, ive been there two years ago, i still look forward to a different experience with my mom and jeco. and of course this city ..

genting

I also look forward to the Asian tour of Cinderella on July 2008. Can't wait to see my biggest icon .. Lea Salonga in person (again)! i hope to have a picture with her this time :)

Who knows? *winks* *winks* DREAM BIG!

reminiscing

2008-01-01T23:40:00.000+08:00

When clock hit 12 today, I was busy like the doctors of East Avenue Medical Center. They were busy attending to patients; me and my crew were busy doing our program’s yearly coverage.

This is my third time to cover ER on a New Year’s Eve. It’s sad that I missed our family’s New Year celebration for the third time but more than that, it’s heartbreaking for me to miss that few seconds of thanksgiving prayers that I usually utter few seconds before the year ends.

That personal moment, where in a flash, I make recollections of the things, events and persons that became part of my year, with a silent prayer and wishes of a better year ahead.

Because I was too busy with work, I failed to do that.. and didn’t get the chance to do it even right after coverage because I was too sleepy.

At around 10 am, I woke up with familiar songs from my computer. I was still dozed but I managed to ask my sister, “where did you get those music? “

“from your files.” she answered.

I wondered in silence. I thought those files were already deleted.. But as they were playing in the background, it was like I was walking memory lane, back in 2005.

In January 2005, exactly three yeas ago, I made one bold decision in my career. I left Emergency without any concrete career plan. All I wanted was to break free from the very challenging demands of being one of the program’s researchers.

I celebrated my newly-coveted-freedom in the beach. It was so perfect.. I was in a daze. I felt like I was in some kind of a movie taking notes of the soundtrack playing in the background..

And when I got back in Manila, I was jobless but very happy.

I chose to immortalize my first month of that year in a ‘soundtrack ng buhay ko!” I bought a Personal Computer, I downloaded those songs, and made two copies.

Soon I got back to work, cuz I was running out of cash .. and totally forgot about those songs and the files. I thought they were already deleted from my PC, until I heard almost all of the tracks today. And for a while, I felt that same happiness that eventful month of January.

That year when I chose to do what I really wanted to do. That year when I was fearless not knowing what to do.. And though the months after were difficult for me, I would always go back to that moment of happiness. It was short, compressed, but definitely complete!

And today, as I face another year.. I pray that I may have the courage to face the unknown, maybe embrace changes, be bolder and conquer new territories. I want to explore more beaches, visit more countries, meet new people, hear more songs and make more memories.

i enjoyed havaianas .. in a different way

2007-10-30T09:32:00.000+08:00

I got the chance to take part in the "All treat, no tricks!" offering of Havaianas for Halloween at All Flip-flops Serrendra! hehe.

I got the chance to design my own Slipper cookies and cupcakes! Haha. I was a real artist! *winks*

The icing bottles are difficult to press huh!

Papasa ba ako sa grade five art subject?

i will do this again! it's very therapeutic!

my masterpiece!

ul be missed lola

2007-09-07T14:29:00.000+08:00

Just a few months back, I would always wake up with the usual smell of an overcooked rice.. And at the top of my lungs I would shout from the third floor, “Lola, sunog na naman sinaing mo!”

Despite our constant reminder never to cook for us, she never heeded .. Because for her, despite the ‘tutong na sinaing’ she served during breakfast, it was a service of love.

For years, she was the lola who played a lot of roles in our household. She was a yaya, a labandera, a cook and a lot more. She would get angry if we asked her to just sit around and watch her favorite telenovelas, she was always on the go, always looking for something to do.

Despite her age, she loved to roam around. Everyday she would visit my aunt, get her trycicle service with my little brother. And although we keep on remindin her it was dangerous for an old woman like her to wander the streets, she would never listen. Or even if we thought she would, she was just acting.

She was makulit.. madaldal..

She was a healthy woman, so we thought. Until that accident happened and had broken limbs.

And after two months from that day of accident, she was taken away from us.

Then everything here in our home would be different. No one will ever cook breakfast again the same way she did.

I will miss our chats and that familiar face saying, “Karen magsinger ka na lang, yayaman ka pa!”

I regret that I was not able to tell her how much I love her .. and I regret that I just walk passed her because of my busy sked.

They say everyone has her own time .. and for my lola, September 01 was hers. But it was a very sad loss for us. I wish I could have given her more love, I wish I got to know her more.

I will really miss you lola.

E GirLs in Boracay

2007-08-24T14:10:00.000+08:00

It was early this year when Isel, Mytee and I planned of getting an out of town trip! First plan was Palawan but after missing the Cebu Pacific Piso fare promo twice, Isel decided to book a package tour for Boracay, and need not go through he hassle of taking our chances online.

So on July 14, we were set to fly to the Paradise island .. but thanks to our Emergency Special, we had to rebook.

Flight was rebooked for August 18 .. and come August 18, there were two tropical storms looming the country.

the weather was soo bad that we thought of cancelling the flight again. If not for the charges we have to shoulder, we decided to push thru.

And on Saturday, August 18, we battled the stormy weather. *Special thanks to my honey who drove us to the airport* and 10 minutes before our flight, we were at the check in counter! woohoo! and after 30 minutes of a 'roller coaster' flight, finally .. we were in Boracay!

And everything was just sooooo perfect! :)

no scripts .. no editing .. no deadlines. no emergency! hehehe

hot chick in boracay!

on our way to crystal cove ..

missing someone??

exploring cave 2

album cover wehehehehee

hilwai

2007-06-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

hlwai - (v. an ilongo word meaning the freedom to move around) On june 16, 2007, me and my crew were on our way to one of the far-flung island of the Philippines, Romblon. It would be my first time in the province but I was not as excited as my other trips because of the 10 hour RORO ride from Batangas Port.

But I had no choice. It was my story assignment. We arrived at 2am and spent few hours at the hotel until morning. At 8 am, we finally met our contact, Kuya Jasper. He was disabled, tied to his wheelchair. He is the project manager of Hilwai.

I never fully understand what Hilwai ship is all about, until we went to Looc, Romblon. It was a bumpy ride, but worth it. The small town was a landscape, blue sky, mountain and sea, and docked at her port, was the ship that launched a very unique project in the country, Hilwai.

Hilwai is the name of the boat that transports orthopedic services to remote islands in the Philippines like Romblon. It was manned by 12 crew including Kuya Jasper, physical therapists and ortho technician. They offer rehabilitation and give artificial limbs or prosthesis to the most poor Persons with Disabilities (PWDS) in most isolated provinces. "It's service delivery. Instead of these people going to the hospital or to Manila, we go to them," kuya jasper says.

I could only imagine life in remote provinces, but it is a sad reality. People do not have access to medical health care. Public transport is difficult. With these, people do not bother to seek medical care with small injuries, leading to aggravated health condition .. or disability. Not to mention, accidents that happen in their workplace or in the community.

But if government could not afford to provide medical care to disabled persons, thank God there is Hilwai.

"They are like angels who came from heaven," said Ate Susie Bantang. Her daughter Patricia was born with incomplete limbs. She never thought that Pat would be able to walk again, but thanks to the artificial legs given by Hilwai, it was like a miracle.

Inside the boat, Kuya Elmar, Hilwai's orthopedic technicain, gave our team a tour. He was also disabed. His legs were paralyzed after a grenade blast in Zamboanga. Now, he could only walk with crutches. But this did not hinder him from helping diabled persons like him, "masayang makatulong sa mga taong katulad ko na may kapansanan!" Onboard was the makeshift workshop where kuya elmar and his assistant do the ortho devices for their patients.

Although we are not part of the team, we were able to go with them on their mission. That day, we went to Santa Maria and documented how they do their limbs measurement and casting. And I could share the happiness in their heart, seeing the happy faces of their beneficiaries as they give the artificial legs. Of course, more bliss to see them walk like they were "complete" again.

NOT THE USUAL EMERGENCY STORY
The story of Hilwai is too light for an Emergency Story, probably boring. But in my four years stay at the program, this is one of the happiest coverages that i ever did.

It feels good to see service-oriented people, who would sacrifice their personal lives to reach out to people in these isolated islands. And after every week of featuring people in despair with their illnesses, it was a relief to see smiling people because of real help, delivered at their doorsteps!

Full Story of Hilwai, tonight at Emergency after Saksi :)

mY 2007 WIsH LIsT

2007-03-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

i have travelled out of the country.
i have my car.
i have a job.
i have my laptop.
i found love. finally.
yet i still dream.

and still i throw my silent wishes in the air.. and hope that
everyone and everything in the universe will conspire
to make them come true.

these i pray..

1. US or UK job.
2. salary increase! hehehe
3. europe or us tour.
4. house and lot
5. condo unit.
6. better relationships.
7. good health for me and my family.
8. love
9. and always .. world peace :)

A real birthday cake, a greeting card and a flower

2007-03-04T09:27:00.000+08:00

My 2006 birthday celebration was memorable but definitely no fun! I was assigned to cover a landslide in Leyte. So instead of a cake for my birthday, I had mud from knees to toes. But this year, I made sure that my birthday is a lot better! I booked myself, my mom and friends for hongkong and had an out of the country birthday bash! I thought the tour would make my birthday a lot special.. but there was a lot more!

After our Disneyland tour on Feb.13th, we went back to our hotel. It was close to midnight then but before going to bed, I went down to meet Ate AC’s brother. When I went back to our room, the door opened with a song “happy birthday!” and mind you, a REAL birthday cake this time, from my very dear friend armie and her sister. My mom was there too! It was fun! it was also the first time that somebody surprised me like that.. and though I always say that I hate surprises, the feeling was really overwhelming!

Here’s more, when I got back in Manila, I had a surprise mail! When I opened it, it was from my childhood friend Adrian! It was a very cute greeting card! And though, I didn’t receive a flower this year, the card comes with a dried flower which made my heart melt .. (well, not for anything else haha). M so touched..

Well, to my friends, armie and Adrian, u made my 2007 birthday very memorable.

Salamat ng madami!

NEXT STOP: HONG KONG

2007-03-04T08:09:00.000+08:00

After my Singapore getaway, I thought of going to hongkong.Not really for myself but as a treat for my mom. My mom loves to shop and I thought Hongkong is the best place to go to. Also, I thought the best birthday gift for myself is an out of the country tour.. At least, I would be able to celebrate my birthday outside the Philippines and be able to escape the hustle and bustle of the Valentine’s day! Haha.

My NAIA dream

Well, I am very vocal about my ultimate dream, to work out of the country. The place of destination varies though, sometimes I want to make it big in New York, sometimes in London or Sydney, it really depends on my mood u know. But one thing is constant, I want to make it there.. somewhere far from here!

With this dream, I always imagine myself leaving from the Ninoy Aquino International Airport until I finally booked the Hongkong trip! It’s not as if im staying abroad for long, but the idea of leaving from OUR international airport excited me more than I can imagine. But my world almost fall apart when I got the plane ticket in my hands and read Philippine Airlines FLIGHT PR 300 departure, Centennial Airport. It was sad but then there’s always something to look forward to in my next trip!

DAY 1: CONQUERING HONGKONG

2007-03-04T08:08:00.000+08:00

February 12, 2007

Finally, we’re all set for hongkong! My Checklist: 1. Winter clothes (check), it’s winter in Hongkong and im the happiest cuz I can wear my boots JUSTIFIED! hahaha 2. Camera and tripod (check), 3. Toiletries (check), I have my crabtree and evelyn,my body shop lipbalm and ever reliable kikay kit for the photo op hahaha 4.Laptop (check), 5. Noodles and biscuits for emergency hehehe (check) .. All these in my hot pink baggage bag!

At 7:40, I was comfortably seated in the plane. And after 30 minutes, we were served our meal. Whoaa, I was a lil bit surprised huh?! I am always a passenger of cebu pacific and once, tiger airways, so I was a bit touched that there’s Breakfast! And complete meal pa! we had ham, veggies, fruits, coffee, red ribbon ensaymada, bread, butter and strawberry jaM! Hahaha! Hmm, twas a good start! I felt soo good!

me and mom ath the plane together

Arriving at Hongkong
After one hour and forty minutes, at 10:50 we were already at the airport. Hmm, I realized I was already at a foreign airport! Everything seems organized.. sa airport pa lang yun ha?! Then, we proceeded at gate 11 and there was our tour guide named Wilson. We didn’t leave at once cuz we had to wait for other Filipino tourists. After about 30 mins, we already heard Wilson doing the roll call.. And moments later, we were walking going to the bus! Wow, turista talaga ang feeling.. Although, medyo parang field trip din! While on the road, Wilson was explaining Hongkong’s History. Once in a while, he stops to explain tourist spots, bridges and buildings we were passing through.
After 40 minutes, voila, we were already at Shamrock Hotel. It’s in Nathan Road. First Impression of the location?! Whoa, it was like we were at Session Road! Haha.. Pero cyempre, mas malinis at mas sosyal!

Discovering Hongkong
Unlike in Singapore, I have armie to guide me. This time, we just have maps and a printed “first time itinerary” from the net. But that didn’t stop us to discover hongkong .. on our own! So after lunch, we went out of our hotel room. Jeco was holding the map and I was holding the printed itinerary. Our fist stop? Victoria Harbour.

From Nathan Road, Kowloon, we just walked to Tsim Tsam Chui! Whoaa, ang layo niya ha (and I discovered on the third day of the trip that from our hotel, Tsim Tsam Chui is one MTR station away)! I thought we would cruise around the harbour through star ferry. When we arrived at the pier, we didn’t end up cruising, but we ended up crossing the Hongkong sea through a lantsa for 1.50 hk dollars.. and after 20 minutes we were on one of the islands of Hongkong, in Hongkong side.

hongkong airport

DAY 2: TOUR GALORE

2007-03-04T08:04:00.000+08:00

February 13, 2007

AVENUE OF STARS

Our tour operator picked us up at 8 am from Shamrock. Our first stop for day 2 of our tour, Avenue of Stars. I thought it would be great to see handprints of famous celebrities.. but then, I am not even familiar with the names and signatures of the celebrities in the featured tourist spot. Ohwell, at least I am lucky to find jacky chan’s hand print! And Jet Li’s too! But more than being interested with celebrity handprints, the photo op made us more happy!

posing at Avenue of Stars

hihihihi..

im a star in my own right!

me and one of my best friends in the world! and my travel buddy .. armie!

MAY RAKET DIN PALA SA HONGKONG!
During the 30 minutes photo op at the Avenue of Stars, one of our tourist guide named Candy approached us and asked us if she could take a picture of us.

Here’s her line:
Candy: Hi! Can I take a picture of you?! I have to show our boss pictures as evidence that our tourists are happy and smiling.

Of course, we were soo kind to pose and smile at her camera.

After few minutes, back in the bus, she already has our pictures cut and pasted in a souvenir plate. Ha! We thought it was for free. But no, the picture was for 1,000 pesos! Wow galeng ng raket. Magagalit pala boss niya ha?! Oh well, ang ganda ko kasi dun sa picture, kaya nagpauto na din ako!

COMPULSORY TOUR
After the Avenue of Stars, we were forced to visit one jewellery store and a super panget factory outlet. Of course, agenda was to let the tourists buy their stuffs. Uhmm, I bough a crystal necklace though.

DISNEYLAND!!
Ohh.. to be a kid again! I am a Walt Disney Baby. I grew up with the Soundtrack of Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid and Alladin! I once dreamt of becoming a Disney Princess. I wanted to be Ariel and sing exactly like her. I wanted to be Cinderella and find my prince charming!

I almost forgot about these childhood dreams, until we went to`Disneyland!

As we entered the park, music from Disney movies set the mood for the visitors. Who would ever forget the famous “be our guest!” from Beauty and the Beast?!

Anyhow, it was all fun in there! Sabi nga ni Jasmine: Indescribable feeling!

Disney on Parade
It was fun seeing my favorite Disney character in person .. ARIEL!

We're BotH KIKAYS!

DAY 3: SHOPPING DAY!

2007-03-04T08:03:00.000+08:00

February 14, 2007

Armie and her sis and well JECO, on a solo flight, decided to go to Ocean Park. But I thought of skipping that part of the tour to give MORE time with shopping!!

But before we part ways, armie, princess, my mom and I had a tour at the Peak!

We had a great view of Hongkong up there! Heheehe.. it was awesome! I thought of screaming “im in the top of the WORLD!” even higher than the tallest buildings of hongkong! Sarap pa ng feeling na super lamig.. whew .. sana may kayakap! Hahaha!

After lunch, mom and went to Mongkok, the tianggean capital of hongkong! It’s just one or two MTR station away from Central (I think) so it was easy. The difficult part is finding the best buys on that shopping paradise! Err, it was like divisoria! Oh well, I love shopping at 168 for cheap clothes, belts, bags and accessories and all these I find at Mongkok! Difference lang, hongkong dollars ang usapan.. so it’s a bit expensive. Sad sad for me! But we were able to buy cosmetics, lotions and other beauty products.. enough to make me feel sooo happy!

DAY 4: MORE PHOTO OPS

2007-03-04T07:41:00.000+08:00

Twas our last day.. nd a better day to bid goodbye to hongkong, is to capture the streets and other tourist spots in picture (with us in the foreground of course)!

certified tomasian

2007-02-09T03:41:00.000+08:00

during my four years stay in the royal, pontifical university of santo tomas, i never even thought of getting a photo of this magnificent structure .. THE MAIN BUILDING. but 6 years after graduation, me and my college gurls walked the same paths again.. back to where we dreamed and discussed about our lives.

we had our photo taken in front of the oldest building ..

the structure have had some unnoticed renovations but more or less, it is still the same.

just like me and my college friends ..

my american dream

2006-11-03T04:51:00.000+08:00

yesterday, one of my officemates got a US visa and i am really so happy for him!
but it also got me sad, cuz everyone seems to be leaving..

and i am always left behind.

Lord, i dont want to be 'here' forever...
when will i get my chance?

thought form

2006-10-28T06:05:00.000+08:00

One story in our special episode today introduced the idea of thought form .. According to the psychics, who actually call themselves witches, people produce negative energies that could create a monster! In our segment, one thought form is in the river of limingaling, pangasinan, taking lives.

Well, if I shall deem this true, I am guilty of contributing a lot of negative energies to the world.

How negative? Below is the proof

1. I don’t believe anymore in friendship.

I just realized that one could not really rely on anybody but his self.. and I proved this true. Many times. These friends, oh they would all be gone one day! When u tried to call them for any help, they would say "they're busy with work, with their families and a lot more of things"

And if u have the good fortune to be remembered by ur friends.. don't be too happy! They would just ask you to lend them money or ask favors or borrow something.

2. I don’t believe in LOVE STORIES.

People have carnal desires.. especially men. That's all they wanted. It's just sad though that some girls are fool enough to give in to these flirts!

3. I don’t believe in Happy Endings.

i have already accepted the fact that happy endings only happen in fairy tales.

4. I am being used to a monotonous life

i always struggle to live a fruitful life but to no avail. As i have always said, iv got nothing except for my job, and i despised that fact. But seems like im getting to used to the sadness that clouds my being. It's like a normal occurence that i have lost the will to strive and look for more opportunities. i am tired .. really tired.. i am clueless on what to do next .. yet it's okei.

5. i hate a LOT of people!

i loathe and despise MR. PERSONALITY! You are a major flirt, a major user, a BIG PRETENDER with a sky racketing SELF CONFIDENCE! grrrr ..

Beware of the man, his thoughtfulness is FAKE! Well, HE is fake!

I despise my sister.. May you experience the same amount of pain that u gave MY mom and MY grandmother!

I hate MR. FUTURE LAWYER. Two years ago, i broke ur heart and i already got my karma for that. So stop shunning me off. I am not winning you back .. i just want us to be "friends" hahahahaha (friend my ass)

new house ..

2006-10-14T13:19:00.000+08:00

this is our new house, a lot bigger and maybe better. we moved two weeks ago .. im starting to enjoy living here.

just that sometimes, it feels soo empty. maybe it's too big for the four of us ..

almost all of our stuffs from the old house has been transfered but i am soo sad and depressed because i learned that my memorabilia box full of love letters, greeting cards from friends and lovers, way back from my elementary days, was thrown away by my uncle..

i could never retrieve them so i feel like i lost a portion of my past and i really really feel sooooo bad. im getting sick :(

going back to QPS

2006-10-14T10:22:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I walked down memory lane again.

I was invited by my HS alma mater to deliver an inspiring talk to junior and senior students. I was thrilled being a speaker, but I got more excited going back to a very familiar place and meeting very familiar faces.

As usual, I barely made it with my scheduled appointment. When I arrived, the speaker before me, which by the way, is Ate Carlota Bie (one of my good friends in High School), had been in front for a longer time to entertain the tired students ..

I was still trying to catch my breath from the rush, but I really needed to start my “speech” and had to take over the stage.

I got butterflies in my stomach when I saw a bigger number of students than last year. But somehow, I made it through! I didn’t stutter, and I am thankful. I just hope that I was able to shed some light to these confused students in choosing their path.

After the talk, I was able to meet my very good teachers. The feeling is indescribable! I was so happy seeing these people who actually saw me grew up! And I could see how glad they are to see me as well.

But of course, extra happiness when I saw Mr. Batoon, my long time crush back in High School

SEEING MR. BATOON AGAIN

I was 13, first year High School when I was a huge fan of the Araling Panlipunan teacher. I remember asking his advisory class a lot of personal things about him, like his favorite songs, perfume, etc. And when I finally knew these, I made it a point to wear that perfume during his class. I would remember him saying when he enters the class, “hmm, bango naman nun!” During one of the programs, I sang “you were there!” and dedicated it to him. It was his favorite song ..

Ohhh, to be a teenager again! Heheh

Everyone in the class of St. Therese knew about this, and of course, he learned about this. He talked to me exclusively and told me the fact, that “wot you feel is just CRUSH, it will pass!”

Oh yeah, it is just crush! And when I saw him yesterday, haha he’s still a big crush! I felt like a teenager again.. the exact feeling that I got when I was 13! It was also funny, that MS. Cariaga, had to call him from a meeting and said “pink, wants to see you!” Ugh, I was blushing. Ms. Cariaga, continued to tease .. she asked if Mr. Batoon is still single (and he said he is hehehe) cuz I am still single! Well, he’s now 38 as he said, but still looks GORGEOUS! and though he denied, somebody told me that he got a girlfriend .. sorry gurl!

Hahaha, nakakatawa :)

But, that really made me smile.

covering milenyo

2006-10-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

Thursday, September 28

I woke up on the wheezing sound of the wind and a news report on Unang Hirit about Milenyo that would hit Metro Manila. I was still curled up in my bed, enjoying the cold weather. I thought, I could just stay at home since it would be difficult to get a ride to the office. I could just do the follow-up of the anniversary stuffs at home.

When, I finally got up, I was enjoying the weather more. Well, maybe because the family’s complete! All attuned to the weather reports. Suddenly, memories of my school days came flashing through. Typhoon is a devastating natural occurrence, but for students like me (back then), it means day-off from classes! And it’s good news (evil me).

I was having that kind of feeling last Thursday. I called the day off (I decided for myself). I thought I could make some mushroom soup too for the family! But at 10 am, my phone rang. It was our executive producer. When her name flashed in my phone, I had my suspicions… and I was right, we were asked to cover MILENYO.

So the next minute, I was getting myself ready! And then, I was on the road, on a battle with the ferocious wind!

I was scared as hell. But I did not have any choice but to report to the office and do a coverage. This IS our kind of story and we’re expected to deliver! It was funny that the ‘coverage of the MILENYO’ didn’t cross my mind. I felt guilty that at the middle of a signal number 3 storm, i felt more like a student, enjoying the suspension of classes rather than a journalist that needs to do a story.

I was dripping wet when I arrived at the cublile. Everyone was on a rush! The researchers were on the phone asking for details about Milenyo, the AP was coordinating with the EP, the Prod Coordinator was busy coordinating the crew and the driver, the SP’s were figuring how to do the segmentation.

Finally, I was assigned to cover flood in Tanauan, Batangas. Then one by one, the teams were “dispatched” to a life-threatening coverage.

Yes, I realized, it was life threatening. When we left, MILENYO was wreaking havoc in the city! We could feel the fierce wind moving our van.. numerous billboards, lampposts, houses were destroyed!

But Thank god, the wind stopped.

And while on our way to the location, my heart continued with its normal rate. I just had to worry about the erratic phone signal, the heavy traffic in slex and my story. But at least, i need not worry about my life ..

Instead of tanauan, I was told to cover the Building that “allegedly” collapsed in batino, calamba instead. We arrived at 7 pm due to the heavy traffic. I was able to interview the injured employees.

“Nakita na namen ang langit dahil nawala ang bubong,” one employee said. The strong wind moved the electricity post towards their building. Fortunately, no one perished. But one of the employees needs an eye operation. A broken glass almost entered his eye 

After Batino, we visited two more Barangays. The bridges in the two barangays collapsed.

We went back to the office feeling exhausted! The adrenaline subsided a little but the alertness of each individual never seemed to banish. There was a lot more needed to complete our reports. But instead of whining, everybody seemed to love the experience! That’s why our show is called “emergency”

Despite despite, we were able to share E-AJI and food food food at the cubicle while we were doing the script. The researchers didn’t sleep either! And that was fun!

But as of latest report, MILENYO left 62 dead and 65 missing.

guimaras

2006-08-25T21:22:00.000+08:00

wander girl wrote on february 4, 2005

if i would get the chance to go back, just a day in my life ...
i would go back to one day, april 16, 2004 ...
the day when i stepped my feet at guimaras ...

with these words, i promised i would go back in that island ..

but with the massive oil spill in guimaras that resulted in the damage of 102 kilometers of coastline, 15.8 square kilometers of coral reef habitat, 105 hectares of mangroves, and 42 hectares planted with seaweeds and beaches, im not really sure if il see that same picture of paradise that was etched in my memory ..

crossing river jordan

Guimaras .. in 2004

blog again

2006-08-19T14:03:00.000+08:00

some girls missed me perhaps! hehehe.
sorry, i had to turn off my blogsite for a while for a strange reason i couldn't tell. i just decided to blog again and express my thoughts and feelings in words .. it's a freedom no one could take away from us right?

so m back and soo excited to post again!

DAY 1: FIRST OUT OF THE COUNTRY TOUR

2006-07-30T00:19:00.000+08:00

After coming out from a two weeks almost-like-hell situation when I caught a blood infection, i had the best one week of my life in Singapore and Malaysia.

I thought, the trip wouldn’t push through, but I recovered two days before my flight!

So on July 22, that was Saturday, for the very first time I got out of the country and had a lot of fun!

FIRST TIME TOURIST

For four hours, I had to endure the longest flight I ever had (so far). During that time, I wanted to cut short the flight. I was too excited to finally step my feet on a foreign land. I didn’t know wot to expect. Isel, my officemate and companion, had a “vague” itinerary in mind. But we were open to possibilities, especially that both of us had two best friends that would host each of us during our stay.

Finally at 3pm, our plane landed in Budget Terminalt. Too bad, we didn’t land in Changi airport. Arrgh, TIGER AIRWAYS is discriminated I think! *smiles* But anyhow, airports doesn’t matter that much to me.So when, I had the first taxi trip on our way to Bedok, I was able to get a short glimpse of Singapore. Wide roads, tall buildings, left hand drive vehicles and Singaporeans, ah I couldn’t believe that I was really there, and I did travel!

and on my first day, i was awed by the fountain at SUNTEC City and had a nice Chinese dinner. I knew, during that time, that it was going to be a hell lot of fun!

fountain of wealth, suntec city, july 22

DAY 2: SHOPPING DAY

2006-07-30T00:07:00.000+08:00

Sunday should have been our Sentosa Day but it’s the last day of Great Singapore Sale so we ended up shopping (well, that was in the afternoon)!

But that morning, my friend Armie and Rob, her office mate decided to do our Catholic duties! Well, I haven’t been to Church for 4 months, so the idea of attending my first Singaporean Mass was not a bad idea after all!

The MASS was officiated by a Chinese priest in pure English! Wow, galeng! I had not heard any single Chinese word during the homily huh!. Well, English is like their native tongue! But I think our accent is still a lot better! Hehehe

MALL CAPITAL OF ASIA?

Armie told me that in every MRT station in Singapore, there is a mall! Well, that was my guess too. The day before, we went to Suntec City and another mall which name I already forgot. Then after the mass, we had our very luscious lunch at Bugis!

After meeting Ate Juneth and Isel, we strolled along the famous Orchard Road! It’s like the Ayala Center of Singapore! And gue

ss what, there’s a lot of Filipinos who’s leisurely walk the busy streets of that famous spot! It was Sunday, so it must be the day off of a lot of Filipino Domestic Helpers.

After having the photo op at Orchard road, we did business! Shoooppping!! Hihihi I found out that Esprit and Charles and Keith sells their stuffs at a cheaper price in the Singapore! And who am I not to grab this shopping opportunity! *grins* So there, I was able to buy a blouse at Esprit and a pair of Sandals in Charles and Keith. At Lucky Plaza (I was told that it was the favorite mall of many Filipinos in Singapore), I bought some choco

lates for pasalubong.

Shopping is expensive but I didn’t care.. After all, I was there to splurge and have fun after all!

At orchard road ..

Bugis Square

FIRST TIME COMMUTER

My hats are off to the transport system of Singapore. Or was I amazed because OURS is *&6(^% GRRR! that made me red

Well, I felt the verrry big difference! They have bus stops. So there’s no scene of bus stopping in the middle of the street to catch a passenger!

They have an EZ CARD (stored value card) which ul tap on a censor, and voila, ur paid for ur ride on the bus and on the train! And when u ran out of credits, u can just load an amount at the MRT stations. What’s amazing with these censors, they can read the card even if it’s inside ur bag! So easy! di ba Ang dali ng buhay.

And I didn’t realize that it was also that easy to commute alone! On my second day, I had my first trip alone. Well, thanks to Mark (juneth’s husband) who gave Isel and I a lecture on the MRT map! We were told that there are four MRT rail lines, but all of them will meet on an “interchange.” Because, Singapore is such a small country, the MRT covers the whole area.

So after having a super sarap dinner with Juneth and Mark in a “hawker” (turo turo), Isel and I had to go to our temporary homes alone! Armie already left me so I had no choice!

Ate Juneth lives in Hougang, that was in Red line! We took the Red Line back to dhoby ghout (not sure with the spelling) interchange and I took the violet line to City hall. Isel took the violet line to Novena where her friend lives. But I had to transfer to another train, the Green Line, and stopped at Bedouk!

Wow, I made it! If my story would end there. However, I had to take a bus to South Bedouk, where Armie’s apartment is located. I took BUS 169, as Armie instructed. Ahh, the experience was exhilarating! And when I finally read “south Bedouk” on the street sign, I went down the bus only to find out that I was in Building 32. Armie’s apartment is Building 159! Oh no! but I didn’t panicked. I thought it would be nice to stroll the streets of Singapore in the night. But after thirty minutes of walking and still didn’t see Building 100 plus, I already called Armie! Thank God, after getting instructions, I was able to walk some more and reached Building 159.

I was too tired when i reached home.
But i slept smiling. My second day was exciting and i couldnt wait for the next days ..

waiting for the mrt

SENTOSA

2006-07-29T14:38:00.000+08:00

After Singapore Zoo, Ise and Ise decided to pay visit to Singapore's Pride, SENTOSA island! Ate Juneth taught us the directions, it's just one MRT away from the Violet Line (i kinda forgot about it though).

Anyhow, to make the long story short, we arrived at Sentosa. I had my firt ever ride at a cable car on the way to the island! whew, medyo kakatakot but it was really fun! Isel and I were in a hurry when we arrived cuz it was alreay past five! Sayang sa photo op kapag walang araw. But still, we managed to take beautiful pictures of ourselves and had a lot of fun!

me in my preggy tube! hahaha

sentosa, july 24, 2006

musical fountain. we met a virtual character named KIKI! ;)

i dont like fishes that much, but the underwaterworld amazed me!

DAY 3: SINGAPORE ZOO

2006-07-29T13:00:00.000+08:00

July 24, Monday is Isel’s last day in Singapore. And since we already know our rounds in Singapore (ehem ehem) our friends decided to let us go on our own! This is the real “tourist day” for the both of us and to actually go to places on our own sounds really fun, not to mention verrrry exciting!

After having our breakfast at Ate Juneth’s place in Hougang, we were set! Our first stop?
In Singapore Zoo!

Singapore Zoo – More than an Animal Haven

I was a never a fan of animals, not even dogs! Moreover, I am not a fan of zoo’s! But visiting Singapore zoo changed all that!

Who says kangaroos could only be found in Australia?! Na ah! Well, in Singapore, there are kangaroos hopping by! Unfortunately, when we had our visit, the kangaroos were sleeping.. GRRR, lazy kangaroos!

I didnt take notes when we were at the zoo and admittedly, i am not really familiar with animals. But these two amazed me! Mmm, forgive me, i really dont know the difference between tigers and lions .. but i think these are called white tigers! hihihihi :)

"The otter is my friend" and i love them!

Since the kangaroos were not marching by when we entered the Australian Outback in Singapore Zoo, i just posed with a lifeless-but-almost-real kangaroo!

POLAR BEAR!!! Wow, this made my day! imagine seeing a polar bear swimming! galeng di ba?!

Tired. Needless to Say.

im going back to the philippines!

2006-07-28T10:41:00.000+08:00

wohoooo! i love singapore and petronas tower of malaysia! but there really is no place like home ...

singapore ..

twin tower, kuala lumpur

just to save ur ass

2006-07-06T09:17:00.000+08:00

Just to save ur ass!

I have been working as a producer for only a year but I have been in this business for three years now and my values for this job has always been in tact. And though countless times, my strength tails off, like as if I’ll just break down, there was never an occasion that I just sat in the corner and let an airing week pass, without any effort.

So my goal? Air a story every airing week because that is my job and I am paid for that.

But there are times when shit happens though. Some circumstances are beyond our control and in unfortunate times, it does not leave us with any options. Although, iv already accepted this fact, still I feel bad every time i had to air a story that “could have been better” and worse, I feel shuttered when I don’t air any story at all.

And so to get off from that depressing feeling, I always make a conscious effort to make my segment worth airing and worth watching. And to feel good about myself, I always make sure that these stories are produced and written well.

To achieve that, I work hand in hand with a partner. But I feel terribly bad when I learned that this partner made it appear that I am the reason why our story is on the brink.

It’s so disgusting that some people had to put the blame on other people’s hat just to save their asses. And in this case, ur successful in doing so!

I just want u to know though that in those countless times of ur “kapalpakan” I always made sure that we get the solutions on our level. I am not the type of producer who would tell his/her higher ups all about the kapalpakan of her partner so she would not get any blame with the output of the segment. Hindi ako nakikipag unahan ng sumbungan. And in fact, many times, I cover up for the uncoordinated shoots, for the wrong case studies, and for the many wrong details that u supply..

Did you ever hear me whine with our boss with your kapalpakan?? Did you? No. I only d do a report (and we are required to do that) “after’ we aired a story, not on the production process. Because if there’s one thing that I also learned in the business, and I quote undercover princess for this, we don’t tell about our labor pains, we show them the baby! And with that principle, I don’t want to burden our bosses with our production problems, because I believe that after we determine our problem, we immediately look for alternatives and for solutions. And this is how we tell them: “we had this problem, but this is our solution!”

So, now that ur tailing off, no story on a Tuesday, the surveillance was negative… The asset that u were telling me was nowhere to be seen on the area. We are continuously looking for solutions! We even roved last night and prayed to get a story!And though we ended at 4 am, we still had a shoot today just in case the original story pushed through. . But until 4 pm, the efforts are useless. Malas dahil wala pa din “tayong” storya pero kaya pa iyan!

But it just pisses me off, that you have this press release that some shoot did not push through because I cancelled it. Yes, I cancelled it but do you know the premise why I cancelled it? Because I asked you to get a back up story that we could shoot in lieu of that case study! And before I cancelled that, YOU told me, that the original story would not push through anymore because u failed to get an asset who would confirm this story! Also, when I asked the profile of the case study, it did not meet my requirement! And so, on a Wednesday, I believe, and I thought u understood, that first, it would be impractical to shoot something (someone) that did not meet the story requirement and second, it is impractical to shoot something (someone) that would not air on that airing week!

But since, we were asked to pull off the story, NO MATTER WHAT, u gave the statement “my producer cancelled the shoot and she is on standby somewhere. Maybe resting!”

Just so u know, I am not the type who would be at peace on a Wednesday, airing week without a clear story to work on. I am not the type who would be happy because I didn’t air on my airing week! And I am the type, who always aspires for good stories under my name!

But if this is your way of redeeming urself, let somebody get the blame for your shortcomings, I feel soo sorry for you! Well, I hope it made u feel better.

ang guloooooo

2006-06-23T01:48:00.000+08:00

hindi ko maayos yung lay-out ng last entry ko. ang gulo gulo tuloy tingnan!
suko na ako. bakit ba parang ang gulo gulo ng lahat sa buhay ko ngayon?! kaka-depress tuloy!
*sigh*
*sigh*
ang gulo ng mga shoots ko this week. biruin mo, pumunta ako ng dumaguete nung monday pero bumalik din ng tuesday dahil ang storya na icocover ko sana ay wala naman pala, o di ba? galeeng! ayoko lang magalit dahil wala nang magagawa pa. inisip ko, di bale pwede pang makahabol ng storya. but NO!
*more sigh*
thursday, nagsimula ako ng shoot sa isang medical story. akala ko okei na. kahit na nga hindi ako excited sa storya. pero mabuti na ang meron kesa wala. nang nasa ospital na kame, ang mabait na doktor, ayaw magpainterview. hala, hindi ko na nakayanan. tumulo na ang luha ko.
*sobs*
walang pakialam kahit na nasa gitna ako ng tondo, kausap ang researcher habang nagpupunas ng luha. sorry, hindi ko na napigil pa. parang hindi ko lang nakaya na ang lahat parang ayaw umayon sa akin. pero napagtanto ko, walang magagawa ang pag-iyak kahit na nga ang sarap ng pakiramdam matapos kong mailabas ang mga luha ng disappointment at frustration.

so gawa na ako ng script. hindi ako makaisip. first time na parang ayokong gumawa ng script.
pero natapos ko din. at ayan na, sent na ang script. pero sabi sa akin, hindi na muna eere, kumpletuhin na lang daw muna ang mga elemento ng aking kwento.
*sigh*

ang gulo. sana next week hindi na ganito .. :(

wander girl and her childhood friend

2006-06-21T09:31:00.000+08:00

pag drained na ..masarap magsenti .
magbuklat ng mga album..
ngumiti sa kawalan hehe ..
minsan malungkot din .. dahil parang naiiwan tayo ng panahon,
at hindi na maibabalik pa ang noon!
pero buti na lang may mga naitagong pictures.. na ang iba, hindi man dilaw o black and white, ang color quality mukhang panahon
pa ni kopong kopong hehehe.
pero mabuti na din sa wala .. at least nakakapagpangiti pa din ang mga kuhang katulad nito!

--- wander girl's email to adrian, june 17

nakakalungkot ding isipin na sa sobrang bilis ng panahon..
feeling natin naiiwan na tayo..
napapasabi tuloy tayong parang kailan lang ganito at ganyan..
pero lumilipas din ang lungkot at napapalitan ng saya..
dahil kahit gaano katagal na panahon man ang lumipas..
buo pa rin ang samahan at pagkakaibigan natin..
at andito pa rin tayo..
humihinga't naghihintay sa panibagong bukas..

alam mo cute pala natin nung mga bata tayo noh!
anong nangyari at ngayon biglang nagbago! hehe..
salamat ulit! i'm really lucky to still have a friend in you..
basta pag feeling mong magsenti

alam mo kung sino ang tatawagan ..

---- adrian's reply to wander girl, june 21

****

me and adrian (my childhood friend) .. dancing aricomambo during our pre-school graduation

guess who danced better?!

seryosong mga bata! hahaha

(latest pictures, to be posted soon)

*********

backgrounder: lifted from blurty.com/users/phinkze, june 09, 2006

Lately, I find myself looking for old letters. My thoughts wander in the distant past recalling the times we were together. I also looked up at old albums looking for our photos together. I also tried to recall the past conversations.

Oh, my childhood friend never fails to bring back sooo much memories. And when we met again after five years last june 06, I feel like I just had a trip in the past… again.

I remembered Quiapo, the place where I never though I would spend my pre-school years with him. We were classmates. Then there was Aricomambo. We danced that on our graduation day. Our favorite place? Luneta. Everyweek we’re there with our mothers and sisters to roller skate.

I could still picture where they live, a three storey building, where I used to be tambay when I was sooo young. Perfectly, I could recall his first nude photo hangin on their wall.. :P

Then there were our teen years..There was Rhea, his first girlfriend, whom I know he dearly loved. There was my 16th birthday party, which he attended. That day, i realized that I like him more than a friend. But before my feelings was ever entertained, they moved to US in 1997.

so there was the despedida party and the sentimental conversation we had before he left..

Then i could also recall the many thoughs of having him.The thoughts of him and me . While he was in US, I was in agony, in anguish, confused whether to tell him or not about how I feel! During that time, the movie "my Best Friend's Wedding" was a contant reminder, that if you love ur friend tell HIM. At that time, I only have one prayer, that I could tell him how about how i feel before he marries somebody ..

2001. We met again. Suddenly, I felt that I love him more as a friend..

So when we met again two weeks ago, i am more than happy that i got a friend, not a lover.He is still single though. So am i. Her aunt even teased us, don’t we like each other?? And my mom told me, if ever there's a man he'd like me to end up with, it would be HIM ...

Well, i just gave them a smile.

I already told him this, I think we could tell the world a great love story if we end up together. Childhood friends turned lovers.. He could have saved me from all the assholes in my life.. I could have helped him get over his ex ..Life could be easier.But we’re destined for somebody else. And as of today, we only have this promise, he will be here on my wedding day and we’ll be ninong and ninang to each other’s kid ..

wander girl will be in dumaguete

2006-06-17T15:14:00.000+08:00

on monday, i will rock the city! hehehe ... AS IF!
i hope we have a good story and a nice three days stay!

father's day sentiments

2006-06-16T13:00:00.000+08:00

it was the yearly retreat of their batch.. and in one of the activities, the junior class was asked by their speaker to share something personal in front.

she was there, with her bunch of 'makukulit' friendz ignoring the speaker in front who was then begging for volunteers. nobody dared to open up especially with an audience of teenagers who, in much certainty, would use ur testimonial against u for fun and 'pang-aasar' after the retreat.

five minutes had passed. the teacher was already wide-eyed! that was a clue, somebody had to stand up and share "something personal" in front. and the girl, being the top student in class, was expected to take the lead in any situation, especially when all others turn back. so as if, it was a class recitation, the top student volunteered herself, even if she didnt want to.

while walking past the students to get in front, she was thinking what should she tell. Something interesting. Nah, something funny. But the speaker said something personal. Her brilliant mind always has a ready idea for impromtu whatevers, but this time she could not think of anything worth sharing about her life.

and though, many times she was in front of a lot of students, hundred of eyeballs on her, at that specific moment, she was so nervous.

she was there in front. then there were moment of silence.

after some time, she opened up with these lines:
"there is one dream that i never told anyone, and that dream is to have my dad walk me up on stage, to pin my medal .."

she further explained that what she told everyone before was a lie. Her father was never out of the country. her father was just there, with his original family.

everybody cried. and she did too ..

that year, she bagged the first place again. and in her last year in High School, she bagged several medals .. but her dream never came true.

kampai

2006-06-01T17:51:00.000+08:00

I am not an alcoholic.
But I want to drink.

Because ..

when I drink, I feel like im transported into another world.
A plane where proper demeanor is not a concern.

When I drink, I could be totally insane and it is totally okei.
I could laugh then cry the next moment.
Get angry.
Be sweet.
Be a multi personality!

When i drink, i could conquer my inhibitions!
I could show off my hidden talents.
I could dance on the dance floor.
I could do dirty dancing!
Or i could even pour a glass of beer in my body

When I drink, I could be a total bitch!
I could flirt and it appears cute!
I could ask for somebody else’s number and give mine.
I could even ask someone for a one night stand!

When I drink, I feel like I’m being heard.
I could throw all my angst!
All my heartaches.
I could tell outright how I feel about somebody.
Or even how I hate the color of somebody else's clothes.

Suddenly, i could also blurt out the things that i am dying to say.
Or tell someone that i like him
or hate him

But you know what I love most about drinking ..
I could forget that I am sad.
That I am alone ...
and broken hearted.

So in the last five days, I drunk four times, And did everything above ..

MY IMBESTIGADOR FAMILY

2006-05-24T19:40:00.001+08:00

People always wonder why IMBESTIGADOR is still manned by excellent, gutsy and spirited staff, despite the dangers (or even death threats) encountered by staffs with every exposes, raids and hidden cam stories!

WelL.. the answer is simple: in IMBESTIGADOR .. UL find true family! (not to mention friends and lovers! BWEHEHEHEHE)

So last Saturday, after a very long time, (though I still lack sleep after an editing and a wedding), I got the chance to bond with the family that welcomed me with a veryyy big hug when I was astray! So, even with only rhum, soda and wine, hotdogs and spaghetti, plus baon na kwento at chismis, we had a real good time!

As in real good time ha?! Walang mga KJ! Walang magsasabi na “ang chummy!” Walang kasama na matatakot ka na pag nalasing ay baka magwala! Walang kasama, na kapag nalasing sasabihan ka ng "i love you!" Pwedeng tumawa hanggang ngala ngala! Gimik na totoong masaya .. hindi saya sayahan!! hehehe

sayang wala ang iba ... pero okei na din!
here are the pix

ganda gandahan pa habang hindi pa lasing

a toast to our career and most of all, to our love life (lovelives ba dapat kasi plural? hahaha)

first bonding with MONDI!

hmmm ... mga lasing na!

last year's despedida .. (sige hirit sa pag-inom at pagkanta!) and brainstorming at Linden suites

assholes

2006-05-04T16:33:00.000+08:00

** this entry has been deleted .. hehe
** but i decided to post it again (june 02, 2006)

assholes (ORIGINAL ENTRY)I received a text Tuesday evening from one of my best buddies. Text reads, “inom tayo!” The friend, at that time, was troubled by an argument yet to ignite with her sister. So the idea of beer was really appealing, after all, we haven’t drunk for quite some time.

So OFF THE GRILL, we went.

I was expecting the meeting to be a venue for her angst on her sister and a little of mine on work. But the night became a venue for angst on the 'unfortunate fact' that we always end up with assholes! In my case, i had all of their kinds. Police asshole, government-employee asshole, tall asshole, cute asshole, teen-ager asshole and doctor asshole. And my friend had their kinds too.So the creeping feeling of being alone; or ending up with one of their kinds continues to haunt me..

And then there was yesterday.Doctor asshole was an interviewee for one of the segments. It was not my segment but I was asked to shoot , after all, even if he’s a bitch, he is still my crush. So after meeting him in the OR, the snobbish look and the unwelcoming smile, still we ended up texting last night, wanting to go out. So I thought, at least after a long time, I would be able to date again! And at least, date someone who’s really a crush.Doctor asshole's last text reads: “okei, I will text u later what time!”

I was too excited! Too excited that I even told all my officemates that the doctor asked me out! Without even realizing that the last text lacked details, meaning: the invitation was not a genuine invitation. But I thought 'the hell I care!' He said he would text and I believed him.But he did not text.

And so my refuge, two bottles of red horse. I ended up drinking again, this time with my officemates. And after two consecutive nights of drinking, I feel more depressed and angry.And now, I am crying. No, i am not crying because the doctor asshole stood me up but because I am just way toooooooooo unfortunate to find one decent man who is really into me.

The world even thought that I am going to get married this year.I also thought so.

Well, I think I need to drink again tonight..

what i feel inside

2006-04-14T08:25:00.000+08:00

Your feeling is anxious...

You try to hide your feelings with a smile but your eyes give away your true feeling. You wish you could be a happy and carefree person, but you're not. Someone that you care about may be somewhere dangerous, or maybe someone you love is sick. Whatever it is, people can't seem to get past your outside. Try to let people in more and you may realize that could do something for you.

take the quiz: what u feel inside
http://quizilla.com/users/liltrix/quizzes/

basilan ...

2006-04-13T12:41:00.000+08:00

BASILAN. Known as the kidnapping capital of the philippines. The province provided a stage for the extremist group abu sayyaf for years. With that, the province was stained with bloody battles between the rebel group and the military.

Then i was told that i will cover a story in Lamitan, Basilan. Suddenly, memories of the July 2001 incident where 35 people were kidnapped, mostly students and teachers, came flashing through. Ten of them, were beheaded by the vicious bandits.

Then the bloody fight between the rebels and the military.

And I was asked to go there.

Although the new researcher swore that the island is already safe .. i had my hesitations to go to a place where the extremist group finds refuge.

But on April 8, 2006, I had my first ever trip to Basilan. And after i set foot on the island, I could not imagine how most people dread to be there. It is a beautiful island. It prides of beautiful beaches and a wide terrain of forrests. Although, there is JOLLIBEE now (which just opened recently).. still the island is a picture of simple living... totally different from the city.

Although, i could not totally eradicate the thoughts of abu sayyafs hiding somewhere in the island ... I believe that Basilan is one of the beautiful places that I have even been to. If only the abu sayyafs didnt wreak havoc in the province, it could have been one of the tourist destinations in the country!

Well...if not now .. maybe in the near future!

the rubber tappers sharing a simple meal in the mountain

if not for this .. we could be trekking for a couple of hours going to the rubber plantation

EMERGENCY .. once stepped in the mountains of basilan

beautiful sunset

boracay-like sand minus the hustle and bustle of a loud crowd in their skimpy swim suits *winks*

wander girl will be in basilan

2006-04-08T03:50:00.000+08:00

yeah .. im kinda nervous about it. LORD, please keep us safe.

what the *&^%

2006-03-28T00:14:00.000+08:00

the three months old adventure had its first accident today.
*sigh* im too tired to even discuss what happened

veronika decides to die

2006-03-24T07:16:00.000+08:00

"Each human being is unique, each with their own qualities, instincts, forms of pleasure, and desire for adventure. However, society always imposes on us a collective way of behaving, and people never stop to wonder why they should behave like that....You're someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that, in my view, is a serious illness." - dr. igor

The book is a good read. I need not say further.

tagaytay getaway

2006-03-22T20:21:00.000+08:00

saturday, march 18 -- tagaytay road trip

1st time -- some of Emergency staffs went south for a break "real break" -- no stories to discuss, no brainstorming; just pure bonding and more gossips about other staffs who weren't able to join! hehehehe just kiddin
1st time -- the car has travelled that far! twas my first time to travel from our place to paranaque! hehehehe..
thanks JC for driving the car for me to tagaytay!! lol
1st time -- i went to palace in the sky. i thought palace in the sky is at picnic grove hihihihi
2nd time -- i went to cafe lupe. almost just a year ago, i went there with the devil incarnate .. haaaay; in love pa ako noon

i will ...

2006-03-14T09:56:00.000+08:00

Go on a vacation – whether alone or with somebody; either out of town or out of the country. Get a taste of my earning without actually being guilty about it.

Go on a really serious diet! I want to get off the extra extra fats in my tummy!
Laugh often.
Not be affected with a story gone wrong .Shit happens and I don’t have to be guilty if my story goes wrong;
Stop reminiscing the past. i will understand that people come and go; and those who don’t stay are not really worth it.
Believe that there’s always something “good” BOUND TO HAPPEN.
Sing often.
Prepare my resume for the job abroad! And really mean it this time!
Gain more friends..
Stop getting refuge in a virtual world.

in chaos

2006-03-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

I am in chaos! I just can’t seem to handle overwhelming emotions. And what’s worse, I feel happy one minute then totally devastated the next minute. I am insane perhaps. Baliw talaga ako. Lately, I find myself creating a situation that no sane person will do. And in fact, I am planning to do something which I know is “terribly” wrong, but am decided to do it because I simply want to. Or maybe I am just rebellious! Or maybe adventurous. Or desperate? Or tanga?

Perhaps everything.

I don’t understand. but at least I know what I really want right now, to have a real “break!” I want to get away from the toxic job! I want to get away from the people who make me feel this way. I want to fully move on from the heartaches caused by situations in the past. I want to fully accept that some things are not really meant to be. I want to look at every situation as a learning experience… and I pray to be happy (despite … )

my 2006 birthday celebration in leyte

2006-02-22T11:06:00.000+08:00

feb 16 , 2006 - it's like im doing a stand-upper

instead of a cake -- a mud in my legs and feet -- my birthday gift!

wild mind

2006-02-08T11:57:00.000+08:00

yesterday i attended a creativity workshop at imperial suites. the speaker, and i dont even remember his name taught us things that i think would help us unleash our creativity as writers/journalists. few things sticked in my mind from the lengthy lecture and few but fun activities. one of these is mind mapping and wild mind. mind mapping, il try to use them one day.. but right now, i feel like applying'WILD MIND.' well, wild mind -- accdg to the speaker is letting all ur thoughts flow; and while these 'specific thoughts' come to head, u have to write them freely. just let it flow; no edits; no grammar concerns etc.. i forgot exactly how it would help us be creative, but for me the beneficil thing it does, it takes away some burden..which i would do NOW.

he said, u have to start with this phrase and comple it: I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT ..
so let me get started.

RIGHT NOW I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT... being rich and poor at the same time. arrgh too vague.. wot about, mm.. this; having a car but no cash?? better? hehehe .. well, iv been using the car for two weeks now, and i think i am paying 500 pesos for the diesel every two days. u know i dont buy a blouse worth 500 well, except if i really like it bad. hahaha. okei wot am i talking about? it's like im going insane. well, the speaker said just write? right? so that's wot i am doing. sana mayaman talaga ako. ewan ko. basta. hirap pag hindi masyadong mayaman.. e papayaman pa lang naman ako! hehehehe

RIGHT NOW I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT GETTING OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND REALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. i am serious. it's my ultimate dream. but how do i get started? i cant be a caregiver. i dont even know how to change the diapers of my little brother. and in his 1 year and two months of existence, i havent had the chance to wash his butt .. yaiks noh. so erase that. WHY NOT MARRY? been offered that .. but i cant, especially if there's no love. WAAAAHHH .. corny but that's my opinion. i cant marry someone i dont love. sana si adrian na lang! hahahahaha .. HIDDEN desire pa din ako sa kaibigan eh no.. pero why not di ba?? hihihihihihi.. arrrgh, mahirap itong paraan na ito. mahirap tsk tsk
GET A SCHOLARSHIP KAYA? mmm .. pero parang ayoko ng mag-aral .. gusto kong yumaman! gusto ko wag nang magtrabaho ang nanay ko. gusto ko hindi na maghihirap ang susunod na mga biticon.
yaiks, malabo ito. hanap pa akong ibang options ha? wala na ako maisip pa.

RIGHT NOW I WANT TO WRITE A LETTER to SOMEONE. actually, if writing like this eases the heaviness in my heart maybe i would feel better if i would write a letter to that someone. i dont know exactly wot to write. well, i have a lot of questions perhaps. i dont know. sometimes i have this desire to be heard. even if im not demanded for any explanations, i just feel like i want to. yea yeah this is weird. i am weird. i am not making any sense but this is the point right? not making any sense. hahahaha... my grammar .. have i checked? the spellings? no!! but they say dont edit. anyhow, as i was saying, the letter .. oh yeah the letter!!! mmm, i dont know if it's a good idea though ..
how will i start it by the way? like this??

DEAR CHURVA, how are u na? ... pause pause ..
yaiks, i dont know wot to say. not a good idea ..

try again.

DEAR CHURVA, mmm ... mmmm .. pause .. pause.. mmm .. how are u (smiling) i am great .. and happy i hope u are too. hahahaha cheeeeeeeeeeeeeezy! whatever.

need to go now. will drive my mother to office. though driving can be really exhausting, i still enjoy it at the moment.oh by the way..here's one more

I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT DRIVING ALONE .. AND U KNOW WOT I FOUND OUT?? IT'S TERRIBLY SAD! ARRGH, SENTI MODE ITO. but i think there's a creeping feeling when ur driving alone .. and there's nobody on the passenger side. sad. sad. sad situation. id rather be the passenger than the driver then.

ooops, saw somebody online. my heart is throbbing. i dont know. HEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT can u just stop feeling emotions?????????? CAN U???????
whaaaa..

i am insane.

always on the road ...

2006-02-03T10:45:00.000+08:00

february 1-2, 2006 at Kabayan, Benguet

i hope il get the chance to travel for vacation .. not for work! am i asking too much? lolz

ang mokong

2006-01-28T18:54:00.000+08:00

naranasan mo na ba na merong isang tao na talaga namang pinakukulo ang dugo mo?!
na tipong kahit na anong pagtitimpi mo .. e talaga namang susubukan ng taong ito ang haba ng pasensiya mo!
yung tipo bang kung meron ka lang magagawa para hindi siya makausap e gagawin mo para lang hindi masira ang araw mo?

kaso sa kamalas malasan, hindi ka makakaiwas sa taong yun!
at kahit na nga hindi ka naman talaga 'war freak,' may magandang asal ka din, may manners at etiquette, e yung taong yun talaga namang chinachallenge ka!
para bang, inaanyaya ka pa na "sige, magalit ka sa akin! wala akong pakialam sa yo!"

pero kahit na pinipilit mong pa-lamigin ang ulo mo .. wag lang magpang-abot kayo..
e talaga namang parang pinaiinit pa din ng hanggang 100 degrees ang dugo mo!

haaaaay, hindi pa nangyari sa kin ito noon! pero ngayong mukhang OO!
at kahit na gaano ko isiksik sa utak ko, na hindi ako magpapaepekto sa mokong, e talaga namang nanadya ang pagkakataon!

ano ngayon ang gagawin ko?! kakaasar! kaya eto .. bina-blog ko!

haaay, mokong!
abot abot na yata sa langit ang kayabangan mo..
well, mayaman ka nga daw ,,, mayaman pala ang nanay at tatay mo.

buti na lang hindi ka gwapo .. lalong hindi ka macho.
kung nagkataon baka LAHAT kame dito KINABOG MO!

whaaaaaaa... yabaaaaaang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

questions lang

2006-01-25T01:54:00.000+08:00

I wonder why do I always hear MORE sentiments about love when Heart’s day is fast approaching. Is it just me .. or the season has really something to do with it? I don’t know. Anyhow, this got me into thinking, and for no known reason, these questions about love and relationship just popped in my head:

WHEN UR BOYFRIEND LEFT YOU FOR ANOTHER WOMAN, IS IT BETTER IF HE TOLD YOU OR NOT?

A fictional friend has a boyfriend for three months.. then a very close common friend told her that the boyfriend is cheating her. But the boyfriend never said anything bout it. Then he was gone.. Still never a word. She is pained. I know she is (of course). But aside from the pain of the ‘unsettled’ parting of ways, she is hovering over the thought, if it was better that he told her about the other girl or not? Well…

WHAT ARE THE CLEAR INDICATIONS THAT THERE’S NO CHANCE FOR “LOVE THE SECOND TIME ROUND” ?

Sometimes, people hold on to their relationships. Even if couples called it off, sometimes there’s a tinge of hope for reconciliation. So how would u know if OVER means really over? Hmmm.. Shall I say, if he burned all your pictures? If he erased all your emails? He erased your number? And he totally erased you from his memory … as if u never existed.

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF A GUY IS ONLY FLIRTING?

Don’t ask me. Until now, I still don’t know. A man tells a woman he loves her and means another .. you know.

WHY DO WE LOVE AND GET HURT .. LOVE AND THEN GET HURT AGAIN?

Haaaaay … who can answer this anyhow?

ARE MEN REALLY CHEATERS?

Men.. wot do you have to say? ask me and i would say YES!

Im sorry. nagtatanong lang ...

full-pledged driver

2006-01-21T19:25:00.000+08:00

congratulate me! i know how to drive now! yipeeee!!

angels were sent for mytee's mom :(

2006-01-04T20:23:00.000+08:00

I would always remember this conversation between me and mytee just weeks ago:

Mytee: adik ang nanay ko
Pink: why?
Mytee: tinext ako “I love you anak. Don’t forget to pray!”

***
Mytee talking about her mom:

Mytee (laughing): kakatawa nanay ko. Nilagyan ng crucifix yung bedroom ko para daw magdasal ako.

***
Mytee one day in a hurry ...

Pink: San ka punta?
Mytee: dinner.
Pink: Yikeee .. sino kadate mu (teasing?)
Mytee: nanay ko.

***
I would always remember Mytee talking about her mom. And then there was yesterday. Mytee’s mom was accidentally hit by a vehicle (which I don’t know what specifically) at EDSA and died. It shocked us. Losing a loved one is painful but it’s agonizing when u lose a mom!
When I got the news, I was afraid to call or text mytee. I don’t know how will I ease her from the pain she feels for that sudden death. I am afraid for I don’t know myself if I can manage such tragedy. Or If anyone can even console me. Maybe I will breakdown and the world will stop suddenly for I don’t EVER entertain the idea of losing my mother. But then it happened to her.. in the most untimely and tragic manner… sooo sad. i am now crying..

the year that was

2005-12-29T13:44:00.000+08:00

I am looking forward to a better year! And of course a better me! This year – life has taught me a lot of lessons. Perhaps this year has tested my faith, my strength and my disposition in life. During the first quarter of the year, I almost went insane with a failed love affair. It took a while before I was able to recover. I thought I would die.. well, I hoped that time I would die just to stop feeling pain. But then I have moved ON,
SEriously bruised but ready to face the world again! Lol ..
During the first quarter 0f 2005, I was in a limbo—my career was also falling apart. But i was able to recover and am back in my foot again. It was not an easy year for me. If I could count the gallons of tears that I cried .. swoosh, il spend the whole day counting! Yet, I have no regrets through all the good and bad that have happened. All the events that transpired within the year, all the DEVIL-INCARNATES I met, contributed to what I am in the present. Well, I must say I am stronger (I Hope). But one thing im sure, prayers really work! God did not give me the exact things that I asked for.. but He had put me in a place/situation he knows I am best at. For the people, who seriously hurt me, sometimes I regret meeting them, but there is a purpose why I met them .. well, so maybe next time, I can stay away from their kinds hehehe…
Through all the pains, the sufferings, I am still blessed. I enjoy my work well, we already have the adventure that we are dreaming of, I have my family, I have very dear friends, I have the best workmates … basta, I am happy. And I will decide to be happy always!
2006 --- another year. I don’t know wot will it bring. But I hope, my ultimate dream will come true… God bless me! ;)

rainbow

2005-12-16T07:15:00.000+08:00

I thought il never see a rainbow in my lifetime.. but i did! Must be a good sign ..

sigh

2005-12-13T06:28:00.000+08:00

sleep is a luxury these days. i cant afford it at this point but come wednesday, everything will be back to normal! and il get back the life that my job has snatched away from me.
if only there's more than 24 hours in a day, or if opted to choose a life -- wherein i am running like mad to meet deadlines i would would have stayed in the two shows at the same time! but with the three weeks stint, i missed a lot!

1. i didnt know that we already have a maid! o di ba? kailan pa? di kasi ako umuuwi
2. the invitations for my brother's mcdo birthday party have not been sent just yet -- its my responsibility supposedly and sa saturday n iyon!
3. our new house is being renovated! gosh, hindi ko din ito alam -- i just found out yesterday.
4. the adventure that i am soo excited about has arrived and is parked at the new house; but i havent seen it yet!
5. my brother doesnt know me AGAIN!
6. my boyfriend is sooo pissed of with me for not having the "time" like as if im just making an excuSe *sObs* * SoBS*
7. i missed my mom's birthday celebration last december 8, and im missing my sister's which is today; and im pretty sure, my brother's -- tomorrow!
8. i missed three weekenends already -- saturdays and sundays *SoBs*
9. ang panget panget ko na

no use

2005-12-12T01:54:00.000+08:00

wot's the use of money when u dont have the time to spend it?
wot's the use of a vehicle when u cant drive it?
wot's the use of ur bed when u can't sleep on it?

more Emergency Pictures

2005-12-11T14:24:00.000+08:00

E xmas party

2005-12-11T14:18:00.000+08:00

moment

2005-12-10T11:41:00.000+08:00

I feel like I should speak
I have something to say
when i got to put the words together
I lose my train of thought.
I'm not sure what i mean
what i think
i am in thinking in a circular way
thoughts tracing the paths of old ideas
thought many times

I am not moving forwards
although time is continuing on
that is what bothers me the most
I am moving backwars
not changing, developing, progressing
but time is still speeding by
passing me by
leaving me in the same spot i was years ago

I feel i haven't changed
the world around me has changed
i have lost what matters
and gained only a facade of happiness
a wall of denial

Its as though i see through rose colored glasses
but instead i choose not to see out at all
to look within
but to only look at whats safe
what has been considered before
thoughts which do not bring truth or relization
the pain associated is a safety net
I need to hurt, to make sure i'm still here
to make sure i'm still alive
I don't feel alive
i don't feel.
Just that old pain, which has been for so many years
it has long since become insignificat

significance is not what matters now
time is my focus.
not enough time, not enough left so much to get done
yet doing none of it.
Too much time
too much space between now and my future

I know my future, because i know myself
I hater my future because i know myself

I can see what needs to be done,
what to do now, to change it all
I see it clearly, and still never accomplish it

I am my own worse enemy
I am my destruction

My loop, safe in the paths i have tread before
in the place i know.
Not breaking boundraries
or even approaching them

I am here. Alone in my head
refusing to progress
wanting to, have no idea how to
not wanting to
stopping myself.

I am my own destruction

I am. I am not.
I chose to do nothing rather than face the fear of trying something
my life is stalemate.

number 5 wishlist granted

2005-12-05T20:55:00.000+08:00

now il be true to the title of this blog..
il be a wanderGirl real sOon! yippeee! im sooo excited..

my number 5 christmas wishlist is coming on December 08!! HurraH!!
plus an extra treat .. it's not a second hand *wInk* *wiNk*

we are blessed.
thank you Po!

FiNALLy BACK

2005-11-28T02:21:00.000+08:00

ohMYgAz! can't believe that im back in manila! and that i am actually using a computer now! over acting? perhaps.. but the last four days of my life were the longest (ever). details soon. finally i can sleep in my bed *SweeTDreams to Me*

independent

2005-11-22T16:09:00.000+08:00

sorry, but i dont depend my happiness on others.

is it okei?

2005-11-19T01:01:00.000+08:00

- Is it okei… if I get bored with my job even though I don’t ever see myself doing other things aside from this?
- Is it okei .. that even if I say im used to covering poverty, I still get pissed off with people complaining about their status in life (like as if I can do something for them)?
- Is it okei.. if I sometimes want to walk out from PASAWAY case studies? And stop the coverage if they don’t want to cooperate?
- Is it okei…if I hate being swarmed by people in depressed areas during coverage to refer every person they know who is sick (even with flu!) like as if im a doctor or a social worker!
- Is it okei .. if I sometimes wish that ordinary buses no longer exist?
- Is it okei .. if I seem to despise riding a public transport?
- Is it okei .. if I hate people who define LYING as BENDING THE TRUTH.. and think that the latter has a lesser evil effect?
- Is it okei .. if I want to kill the woman who did the cellophane treatment in my hair and I don’t see any difference?
- Is it okei .. if I loathe policemen?! All of them!
- Is it okei .. if I am seem lost again?

I hope it’s okei.. just for today. Tomorrow I will feel better.

christmas wishlist

2005-11-13T19:11:00.000+08:00

CHRISTMAS WISHLIST!

"I just want you for my own .. more than you could ever know. make my wish come true ... all i want for Christmas .. is YOU!" -- Mariah Carrey

but for some 'achievable' christmas wishes .,.
i want ...

1. out of the country trip
2. palm top
3. lap top
4. boots
5. car (kahit 2nd hand)
6. tourist visa (somewhere hehehe)
7. tri-pod
8. new scent
9. harry potter series (complete set)
10. go cart
11. music lessons
12. overnight stay at shangrila hotel

hmmm.. isip pa ako. ACHIEVABLE huh?! **laughs**

Current mood: totally frustrated; disappointed, depressed!

2005-11-08T20:51:00.000+08:00

Can I be a total bitch for one day? Just this day! I just want to let this out! And since it seems like I have NO girlfriends at this point, better let the blog be my channel for all my angst. FUUUUCKSHIT talaga. I want to cry.. (yeah now im crying). Arrgh, im totally devastated, terribly.

Why are the best things are getting off my grasp? Or why do I lose grip of the things/situations/people that I am looking forward to, no matter how I tried to control them. Maybe I am just unlucky. And this unluckiness seems like forever now!

Swoosh, I cant help but cry. Yeah, as I always say, looks like the world conspire to make my life miserable these days. And they are successful!! To hell!!

Maybe next time I should really not tell a soul about anything and everything that I am looking forward to. Perhaps it’s jinx (for me). So much of the POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE PRINCIPLE .. which says, if you want something, go tell everyone and visualize it .. and the universe .. one way or another will conspire to make them come true. NOT TRUE FOR ME THOUGH! if I tell, even my silent wishes on the air, HA, believe me .. either they wont come true or some circumstance will blow them out of hand! PO-taaah talaga di ba? Maybe I should not tell when I will go out of the country .. or when I will get married .. or when will I get pregnant .. so they will come true?!! RIGGGGHT??

Ok .. maybe I just need to sleep. I cant be like this when I make my script later! Whoaaaa, but I really cant help. I am angry, disappointed, frustrated and depressed all at the same time.

And this person, makes me cry uncontrollably now. I just asked him to keep me company, and I was turned down haaay. I WAS BEGGING HIM but to no avail. Well, when it rains it pours. And now I don’t have anybody but me and this damn computer! Same story. When u cry .. u really cry alone. GOOOOd,, I am really savoring this huh?! Enough for me to go home early and revel in this disappointment.. I don’t want to see ANY BODY. I want to go to GALERA this weekend and be cast away.. I want to just disappear now! As in now!!!

not today

2005-11-08T05:32:00.000+08:00

this has been done several times.
and she gets paranoid.
she doesnt know why she could not manage it.
that despite her busy sched ..
she still has time to relish pain
from not hearing
or from not knowing,
and from not being reminded
that he's there
and he's suppose to be hers.

but she has to be reminded.
or else, she will forget ....

behind the scenes of emergency obb

2005-11-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

blue boys and gurls ..mga usi daw kame sa kanto

fire scene .. mga nakapambahay daw dapat! pero mukha akong pulubi! hahaha

oooh shucks! naaksidente sila (kunwari)

with AEROMED medics turned actors! hihihi

scene: fire rescue ..
ako yun!
grabeh, nanginig talaga tuhod ko!

these are the signs again

2005-11-07T10:41:00.000+08:00

White heads and pimples are starting to surface my face! My eyebags are starting to get blacker not to mention bigger! I always feel dizzy (and sick). I always feel like throwing up. Our house is not a home but a place where I can just doze off, and change clothes. The van service is a solace for a few minutes of sleep. My brother doesn’t recognize me anymore. I have backaches. I don’t have a social life. Love life is getting bleak for lack of time.

It’s frustrating.
But it'snovember, EMERGENCY's annversary .. and for the staff it means all the things mentioned above.

But despite all these .. some moments ARE PRICELESS. Never can one find a job more exciting, more challenging than ours. And with the people I work with?! Yeah, I am lucky!

boardwalk, quirino grandstand: EMERGENCY OBB shoot - November 6, 2005

I just hope that this job is not snatching away my future.. as a family woman.. tsk tsk ..

patience is a virtue!!

2005-10-30T21:17:00.000+08:00

patience is a virtue!
and i dont have it...

arrgh, someone teach me how to be patient pls..

i love ewan mc gregor!

2005-10-23T22:32:00.000+08:00

hmmm ... pwede! lol

quiapo ,, where i belong

2005-10-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

I walked through memory lane last Saturday..

I was asked by my batchmate to attend an alumni meeting. And since, I owe my old school for the last segment I researched for Imbestigador, I gladly said yes.

The feeling was nostalgic. The first time I set foot at my school again after more than five years, memories came flashing through! The school practically has seen me grew up .. the years in my life, from kinder (5 years old) until High School graduation (16 years old), were spent at QUAIPO PAROCHIAL SCHOOL. So there are countless memories. REALLY!

When I walked through the corridor, it was recess time for the students. I saw the naïve faces, the unmindful disposition in life .. and how little (or BIG) highschool students are. I couldn’t help but smile.. I was once like them! Walang kamuwang muwang sa mundo! I was even on that same uniform .. maroon skirt and white blouse plus the color-coded patches.. (green, yellow, blue, pink) which would determine from what level you are! But in much fairness, it looks cute! *Smile* --

While I was finding my way to the AVR (which has by the way changed location), I noticed that in eight years, there has been a lot of changes. Bigger gymnasium. Bigger library. Bigger canteen. But I noticed some things remain the same. The CR (near the AVR) has NO MIRROR! I remember, we were told before, that the reason why CR’s has no mirrors, is to keep girls from staying at the CR! Hahaha .. maybe it’s for the same reason! Still there is the narrow hallway going to the avr!

Anyhow, I went to the Audio Visual Room which has improved considerably! When I walked in, faces turned. And I saw two familiar faces, Mrs. Nicholas and Mrs. Tabios. It was funny, because I know they’re trying to remember the name for my familiar face.. then Mrs. Tabios asked me to fill up something.. and when I wrote my name, she giddily said “PINK!!! Ang laki mo na! At sumexy ka!” well, admittedly, I was an ugly duckling back in Highschool. I had no regard for my physical appearance so as long as I stay on top of the academic race. And I think, just like the school, my appearance has improved too! HAHAHA.. so I managed a laugh, and said “OPO, lumaki na ako!.. late bloomer kasi ako!” **laughs**

They were soo excited to see me just as I was excited to see them. It’s funny .. cuz they are very proud of me! hahaha .. I couldn’t blame them though, working in TV most specifically at GMA means glamour and fame to some. HA! If they only know what we do..

then I was asked to lead the prayer! YAIKS, it was on the spot! Suddenly, twas like I was transported 8 years ago when I was always assigned almost instantly to lead in anything and everything even in prayers! Ohh, my old catholic alma mater **GRIN**
Well, it’s just a simple prayer leading but to QPS, it MEANS a lot! So, I hurriedly tried to remember how prayers are being recited in my alma mater .. My Gosh, I don’t even know how to pray GLORY BE these days! Then phrases like “PRAISED BE JESUS AND MARY!, LET US PUT OURSELVES IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD, etc” came flashing in my mind… and thank GOD I was able to pull it off! hihihihi

And so the meeting begun! I was clueless why a meeting has been called.. I thought It was some sort of a reunion .. only to find out, as the meeting progressed, that ALUMNI are being informed that the old QUIAPO PAROCHIAL SCHOOL’S name will be changed to THE NAZARENE CATHOLIC SCHOOL. My first reaction? Oh no!! the name QPS would be NON-EXISTENT! But as discussed, it’s for the better .. and so I hope.

After being put on the spot again when I was asked to go in front and share my opinion, the meeting was adjourned. But I was asked to be a speaker for a career talk on November 10! Wow! Am I already “somebody” to even speak in front of 4th year high school students? But the guidance counselor (who I don’t remember the name) said I would just discuss my course and my current job! Hmmm.. okei I said! but I am thinking, if I would give an advise.. I would say, DON’t TAKE MASS COMMUNICATION OR COMMUNICATION ARTS, there’s no money here!!! Hahahahahaha

Well, with this I just want to share how happy I am to see my old school (which name will be changed in November)! There’s really bliss in looking back in places or persons who has contributed to who you are in the present ,, really!

shit happens

2005-10-22T01:05:00.000+08:00

If there’s one thing that I have learned through the years here in the business, it’s this: SHIT REALLY HAPPENS! Like now, the follow-up stories that we have been working out for more than a month now, is not appropriate for shoot! And we just realized it NOW, when its airing is just two weeks away from now, when we are already booked for a flight on Sunday, when everything is almost (but not quite) done! Well, at this point, we don’t have time to rant! We just need to move on .. and start working again .. FROM SCRATCH. It’s just disappointing though. This shit should not happen now .. when we are all in the middle of this 10th year anniversary jitters. Whoaaaaaaaaa!! Ugh! My heart is starting to throb.. it’s certain, I can feel the PRESSURE now!!

In this business, some things are really not beyond our control. This I could not accept, when I was still new in the industry. Sir Neil made me realize this June last year when for the first time, I was not able to air a story for the week because of some pasaway case study for ‘noselift.’ I was destructed! Really heart-broken .. and because I could not accept that I was not able to air a story for the week, I hurriedly talked with Sir Neil, and said I was resigning! But he did not allow me.. and from then on, I begun to understand, that even though u did ur best, ALL OUT, or u already pulled heavens and earth to make things possible, sometimes, it simply can not be .. because there are things and circumstances that you don’t have a power over… no matter how powerful u think u are!

We could only do as much.

Sigh anyhow, the next weeks would surely be a pressure-packed week. Tis the season again! Hahahaha November last year, when my powers as a researcher tailed off, starting with the anniversary in November, FPJ’s uneventful death 2 days before CHRISTMAS (he could have died a better day), Black Nazarene Feast coverage and HONG KONG Special in january. With all that, I resigned! Hahaha..

Pero eka nga.. kaya ko ito this time! AJA!!

beware .. there's a lot of HIM on earth

2005-10-21T12:29:00.000+08:00

these are the signs again

2005-10-17T05:44:00.000+08:00

oooh my god! i cant help it .. how could i repress myself from wot i feel? it is sooo overwhelming! i couldnt contain my own emotions! hahaha .. but i dont care! i am sooo happy! i want to sing and dance in joy! *smiLes*
oh, i just hope, he's not another devil-incarnate .. i would die ..

kapuso ..

2005-10-13T15:20:00.000+08:00

it was my original dream .. to be a reporter ..

or a singer??

*GiGgLes*

*********************************

some thoughts

written october 10, 2005 monday

segment producers are being measured by the last segment that they produced.. and like actors, ur only good as ur last. the last segment that i produced for emergency was really frustrating! even on my standards, it would not pass as a segment. so i was not really surprised to hear comments like, "what's the point of the story?" or "hindi ko siya gusto!" because it should have not been produced in the first place. the story is pointless. because the segment (script) .. was totally way tooooo different from the ORIGINAL POINT of the story when it was proposed. the story should have culminated from a toxic that spilled from a junkshop in cavite... then, it would tackle all other dangers posed by other junkshops. tuesday, i went to cavite to shoot. and i was soo disappointed that one very important information was missed.. the toxic did not come from a junkshop!! and since that day, all my other shoots were either mishap or totally out of context.
anyhow, i just want to air some angst here. and although i am doing it now, it would not salvage me or the show from one segment that lacks intellect and POINT.. but i hope i could get past this and make up on my next airing. i dont want to spend this week procrastinating at home because there's no story to work on.. i want a good story.. and i want to be good in what i do. *sigh*

******************
last week was hell. i really had a struggle with the segment that i was working on. but god is really good because he gives balance to my life.. though at work, my life was hellish, the other aspect of my life is just becoming sooo exciting!

To Court Love is to Court Pain

2005-10-10T18:30:00.000+08:00

*repost*

I am an observer by nature. I find myself looking and listening than talking the night away in a random gathering.

And what I have observed is that people know so little about love and the equal amount of pain it can potentially cause. People are absolutely oblivious to the fact that whenever you court love, you court pain. That is a pre-given and nobody is exempted from the sting of lost or broken love. It is a feeling that everybody goes through whether you have been in one relationship or a hundred. That is the premise that I wish to share:

"Whenever you truly, genuinely love someone, you must also be prepared to hurt as much."

I have heard countless stories of people loving another only for the story to end when the person leaves their current love for a better deal. I have heard of couples in a relationship who split up because the other person finds it easier to concentrate on his job rather than the relationship. All of a sudden, from #1 to almost gone.

It is a sad and dreadful truth; one which looms over us like a dark cloud upon us before the downpour. And all of us have no control over it as much as we cannot stop a single drop of rain from falling. We cannot master Love because it can be taken from us as much as it is freely given. It is a reality we must all face that if we say "Yes" to someone else, we must also consider the fine print that comes with it. It might be prudent to include after the affirmation the following phrases:

"I am allowing my vulnerability to be exposed."

"I give you the right to hurt me."

"I know this will hurt if you leave but let's try anyway."

No one can dictate to us who we want to love. And that is the truth that some people forget. If you love a person, that is all because you decide it upon yourself that this particular man or woman is worthy of your love. But when the person does not reciprocate the love that you bestow, that is only because of this one God-given right. It will be probably one of the one greatest possessions we mortals will ever have.

It is called free will.

We shouldn't blame the person we give our love to for loving someone else other than us because it is not right. We give our love to someone; we surrender everything else except our souls to this one person not because it is a requirement. We do it not because we are obliged to, but because we want to. Out of all the people in the world that we have met, like a king knighting a soldier with his royal scepter, we choose to love one person. But let us not forget that we are not kings or queens.

The love that we bestow upon this person is honorable, yes...but our word is not final. The person can always say "No".

Or leave us...

Or go behind our back...

Or cheat on us...

There are a thousand and one reasons why someone will decline but that should not be taken as a reflection of our inadequacy or incompetence. They are all part of a plan. As to what plan and why it is structured as such, I have no clue.

All I can say is that all of us have our own journeys to follow. I would like to think that whenever we fail in a relationship, it does not mean that we are bad people. To me those slips and "failures" are just stepping stones we must need to cross in order for us to get to the other side. We should look at these as rocks in a river which will bring us closer to the The One.

It just so happens that some people have wider rivers to cross, faster currents to keep cautious of, and stronger gusts of wind to fight while crossing that proverbial river. And so we must bid our time, wait for the right opportunity when we should jump onto the next rock. Or else we will just slip because of the raging water, lose balance because of the wind, and fail once again.

Once you understand how your surroundings are and how the river flows, you should do just fine.

pink happiness

2005-10-02T03:11:00.000+08:00

i am happy! really ... *dances in glee*
i hope it would last though.
and i hope everything is real.
i dont have time for more jokes in my life.

seven

2005-10-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

Seven important things in my bedroom:
:: my kikay kit
:: clothes
:: jewelries
:: books
:: cd player
:: some papers
:: my penguin stuffed toy

Seven random facts about me:
:: i am always broken-hearted
:: i have never said i love you in person and meant it
:: i always dream of going out of the country
:: i am good at remembering names and birthdays
:: i am 'maarte'; i can't live without lipstick
:: i have a lot of angst about life .. but always enjoy it
:: i enjoy blogging and chatting

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
:: travel the world
:: marry and have kids
:: live in my beach house
:: perform in theater
:: write a book
:: teach
:: study abroad

Seven things I can do:
:: sing
:: be awake for two-three days straight
:: play the guitar
:: ice skates
:: make scripts
:: stay in bed for one whole day
:: love

Seven things I can’t do:
:: flirt and never get hurt
:: say 'i love you' in person! hahahah
:: drink three bottles of beer and never get drunk
:: hike and swim
:: cook (but im starting to learn now)
:: magplastic ng tao ..
:: go out without lipstick! hahahaha

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
:: personality
:: looks
:: sense of humor
:: ability to keep up a conversation
:: financial stability
:: showy, never afraid to say and show how he feels for me
:: conviction

Seven things I say the most and are known for saying:
:: oh my gosh
:: with all my heart and soul!
:: promise??
:: pwedeng umiyak?
:: pwede!!
:: im sooo pretty! (hehehe)
:: the hell i care

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
:: ewan mcgregor
:: dennis trillo
:: josh hartnett (yaiks tama ba spelling?)
:: prince william
::christian vasquez
:: ewan mc gregor
:: ewan mcgregor

Seven songs that would um up how u feel now:
:: come what may (never knew i could feel like this, like iv never seen the sky before)
:: i will survive
:: beautiful sunday (this is my beautiful day, when u say say say that u love me)
:: don't lie! (no no no, baby don't lie)
:: all i want for christmas is YOU ( ijust want you for my own)
:: dont cha (dont cha wish ur girlfriend is HOT Like ME!)
:: dont phunk with my heart

(hahahaha puro senti ito)

Seven people I want to torture to take this quiz:-->random names lang hehehe
a
n
y
b
o
d
y

gym-nastY

2005-10-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

at the gym

my goal: wear a midriff; wear my two piece next summer

exercises recommended: crunches (and i hate it)

assessment: ugh, no improvement after three weeks!

i think i just need a liposuction.. tsk tsk

wot does success mean?

2005-09-28T11:17:00.000+08:00

When I woke up today and was about to take my breakfast, I saw my mom and her two sisters, my aunts, having a tête-à-tête. That was a usual scenario at home coz our house has been the ‘meeting place’ for my mom’s clan! I am not complaining though. I was in no mood for conversations so I just said hi and started to make my coffee and prepared myself my sandwich. Then I heard my mom called out.

Mom: Have I told you about my blah-blah’s (some officemate at customs) daughter. She bought her (referring to blah-blah) an adventure! Grabe! Twenty six pa lang yun ha?!

(actually my mom already told me about this last night, after I came from work and was sooo tired)

I just nod. Cause I know where it was leading.

Mom: kasi adventurous yun eh! Twnty two pa lang pumunta na ng Bangkok! Ngayon mayaman na! Ikaw? Kailan ka ba aalis? Aba matanda ka na?! Libang libang na libang ka sa trabaho mo!

Aunt1: hindi!! Magsisinger yan si KAREN! Ang ganda ganda ng boses niyan e!

And my lola butted in

Lola: Hindi (sarcastics); ayaw niyang magsinger! Gusto niya itago niya lang ang boses niya!

Aunt2: ano ka ba?!! (talking to my mom) bata pa yan si Karen, mag-aabroad din iyan!

Mom: diyos ko, parang walang ambisyon yang mga iyan! Kung gusto nilang mag-abroad dapat ngayon na! Matatanda na sila!

That was it! I snapped!

Me: alam mo ma, parang hindi ka nakukuntento! Alam mo bang swerte ako dahil maganda naman ang trabaho ko?! Gusto kong mag-abroad pero hindi ko pa lang naaasikaso!

Then I walked out. And now im writing this.

I am really pissed off. I don’t really hate my mom for looking down on my job at gma7, for wanting me to go out of the country, for wanting me to be rich! I just hate the idea that my fate is being compared with other people.

Then I begin to wonder, what does success really mean? Success barometer is usually measured by career status, monthly salary, bank account, properties (car, house), and fame.

I Take a look at my own circumstance. Age 24, segment producer for gma7, earning a considerable amount of money, no own car, still living with parents, no properties.

Thus, the success barometer is slightly clinging on the bottom half of its measure using those standards. At age twenty four, I would say that I am not successful yet! But I am not a failure too!

But Just like any other entities here in the universe.. I believe that success just like beauty is relative! Wot success means to other person may be different to another person! Im not saying this to present an excuse for what appears to be an ‘unsuccessful life’ that I have. but I think it’s unfair that we have to base one’s success on the said standards and how fast one can achieve all of them!

In my case, I am very thankful and still feel blessed that I am working! And in much fairness, I think being a segment producer for the longest-running public affairs show at the NUMBER ONE network in the country is also ‘something!’ Well, the pay may not allow me to buy my mom an instant adventure! It may not allow me to go on out of the country tours, or buy me a house and lot, but I must say that I have a pretty decent job which allows me to live a pretty decent life.. in which I can buy a branded lipstick,!’ it allows me to go out of town! It allows me to buy my own computer! Own cell phone.. or even buy a VOKWAGEN!

My point is, maybe I don’t really have that much at this age just like others. Maybe my phase is not as fast as the others.. and still, just like others I want to be successful BASED on the SCUCESS barometer. But I don’t want to be sorry because I still feel that what I have today is a blessing! And I still believe, that I would be able to achieve much in time! Maybe not based on my own phase… maybe in God’s own phase.

i have a new crush!

2005-09-21T19:00:00.000+08:00

*KILIG*

I have a new crush! *dances in glee*
Yeah! As in MAJOR crush!!

Hmmm.. I’ve met him during a shoot! *laughs* well, yeah what seems to be new! Well, here it is. he’s a surgeon! *more laughs* hahaha! Yeah, mytee was right, looks like I am getting hooked with men from different professions!

Checklist:
Lawyer? Check!
SAF? Check!
Student? Check!
Even Bum??? Check!!

Hahaha! And now, MY DOCTOR! *laughs*

Just kidding! These are just mere coincindences. I mean,unconsciously, I get hooked with men from ‘different professions!’Anyhow, I’m not really sure if I have the chance this time! Though, we’re regular textmates now you know *WiNK* but I don’t want another devil-incarnate incidence again! If ever, I would check on his marital status, his financial capacity, his ex-gf’s and many more! *hahahaha* And remember the NEWEST philosophy in life… FLIRT, NEVER FALL IN LOVE!I’m just saving myself from the heart ache! Hahaha.
But honestly, i think there’s nothing really to expect! But Im not disheartened. It’s enough, that I I feel *kilig* again with just the thought of him! And finally, finally get off my mind from the devil-incarnate!

favorite no more

2005-09-21T18:16:00.000+08:00

It is my favorite hospital before! Kahit ba sabihin pa na jologs doon, pakialam ko naman? Basta para sa mga katulad kong researcher noon .. ang ospital na ito ay hulog ng langit! Biruin mo, pag kailangan mo magshoot ng spiels na mamaya na, approved agad yun! Mag-shoot ka ng operation sa operating room --- sterile doon ha, ok lang din! E sa ibang ospital, kailangan mo pang dumaan sa napakahabang proseso. Malamang sabihan ka pa na “this is a late notice, we can’t accommodate you!”

Eka nga ‘suki’ na kame ng Ospital na ito. Dahil sa lingo lingo kong tinatawagan ito noon.. kabisado ko ang trunkline, pati ang direct line ng Director, pati fax na din! Halos hindi ko na rin mabilang ang mga pangalan ng doctor na taga ospital na ito na nakasave sa phonebook ko! Ngayon namang segment producer na ako, kapag pumupunta ako doon.. kahit saan pa ako malingon at may nakita akong nakaputi, malamang sa hindi na-interview ko na ang doctor na iyon, o napanood ko na sa aming show!

LOVE ko talaga ang ospital na ito!

Pero kahapon, mukhang nag-fall out of love yata ako! Isa kasing kaso ang kinover namen. Isang bata na nakalulon ng coin. Dapat operahan na siya para matanggal ang coin sa kanyang lalamunan. Pina-standby kame para makuhanan ang aktuwal na operasyon! Syempre tuwang tuwa ako! Ang kaso kasi ng bata ang kukumpleto sa storya ko tungkol sa foreign objects. Monday pa lang alas-dos ng hapon, nakastandby na kame. Isang ‘poging’ doctor an gaming ininterview tungkol sa kalagayan ng bata. Sbai sa amen, 6 pm daw ang operasyon.

Inip na kame. Gusto na naming makapagshoot!
Pero sabi, baka gabihin pa daw. Para sa amin OK lang! Istorya ko ito.. at MAJOR na elemento ang operasyon!

Bumalik muna kames a opisina..

Katextmate ko na ang poging doktor. Wala pa daw. Baka madaling araw na.
Parang pagod na ako kakaantay. Pero iniisip ko, kailangang makuhanan ng video ang operasyon.

Umabot ang alas-sais ng umaga. Hindi pa available ang operating room.
Alas onse. Hindi pa din.
Als dos. Hindi pa din.

Wala pa akong tulog halos. Ang cameraman, dumating na ang karelyebo. Bagama’t parang bibigay na din ako.. Sige antay pa din! Pero umiyak na ako. Iniisip ko ‘ang hirap nilang kausap!’ sana sinabi na lang nila na BUKAS na lang para hindi kame naghintay magpo’t magdamag.

Alas-sais. Suko na ako.

Buti na lang, mga alas siyete… pwede na daw maoperahan! Yahoo, naisip ko! Sa wakes matatapos na ang storya ko… kahit na pinastandby pa kame ng 36 oras na.

Naisip ko, hulog pa rin ng langit ang ospital na ito. Kahit na nagkandaleche-leche pa ang permit, pinayagan pa rin kameng makapagcover. Pero naisip ko, hindi pa rin pala tama ang nangyari. Kasi, ang bata na ikonocover ko, hirap na hirap na. gusting gustong kumain pero walang magawa.. itinutulog na lang ang gutom.

Hindi ko yun naisip. Feeling ko bawat operasyon, ISTORYA lang. Siguro, ang OSPITAL, iniisip naman na ang operasyon TRABAHO lang. kaya kahit na magkanda hirap ang pasyente .. OKEI lang.. kasi wala PA TALAGANG kwarto!

Haaay, ang lungkot. pero hindi ko na favorite ang ospital na ito na dati kong paborito.
Pero teka, dito pala nagtatrabaho ang bagong crush ko!

Sige na nga! Pag-isipan ko uli!

diversion

2005-09-17T04:07:00.000+08:00

a flaming red face after a steam bathe

It’s my second week at Citylifestyle!

I have experienced all kinds of body pain since I enrolled two Mondays ago! But well, if not for the gym, I could have died from the torment that MARCH and the devil incarnate caused me the past two weeks. Well, honestly, the reason why I suddenly enrolled, though it was planned looong before, was because of that stupid threat from the devil incarnate! Well, I don’t have an entry here… it happened two Sundays ago. And right after, I was again crying! Even on shoots, I cried silently… I couldn’t contain the fear and sadness that clouded my whole being.

But then, I realized that I have shed sooo many tears for one stupid man! And it’s really about time to MOVE ON!

And so, there was my diversion! Enough of the tears that fell from my eyes … This time, I need to take some sweat off as if it takes all away the pain that I feel.

Sooo far soo good! :)

Today, I joined the Latin Dance class! Wohhooo! I am a charmer! **laughs** u should see me dance! Hihihihi! I also joined the kick boxing class! And I was no good at first.. I was like a ‘gay boxer’ no force at all … but I was suddenly motivated! The THOUGHT of the devil incarnate… right in front of me! and I had a many pacquiao-like punch! hahahaha

If not for the ‘gimik call’ from my SAT friends, I would have stayed in the gym. And have myself soaked in the Jacuzzi again! I especially like it … when I just float in the Jacuzzi … it’s like im being pulled away from reality … and for few minutes I forget about the pain …the sadness …

But I made the right decision of cours! Hehehe … I always love going out with ate joan, vlad, jeco and ana! Too bad mads and noi weren’t able to make it! but it was still fun! Especially hearing the lates gossips in town! Mostly care of VLAD! Hehehe PLUS I was able to forget ‘for a while’ how disappointed and bored I am that I still don’t have a concrete story to work on! Tsk tsk …

just flirt!

2005-09-17T03:57:00.000+08:00

What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow So far at least until tomorrow I'll never fall in love again

I heard this song from our neighbor’s loud radio speaker one day. A different version though from My Bestfriend’s Wedding Soundtrack. Anyhow, I realized that the song really makes sense! Haha! And based from my own experience … I only GOT LIES, PAIN and SORROW! Ergo .. I’ll never fall in love again! And I have decided from now on, that I would just FLIRT! Haha .. yeah yeah! This is my new motto in life, JUST FLIRT, NEVER FALL IN LOVE!

2005-09-04T00:01:00.000+08:00

What's there to write about? my life is a bore the past days.. Ugh. I hate to say that. Erase that. try that again. i had a great week! (i need to convince myself more) but i think i did! i started the week with a treat from Mr. Imbestigador at Chinatown! Isnt that a lovely treat?! i mean, i felt very honored to, at least, still be a part MY Imbestigador Family..

Then i was able to meet an old friend KAT last Wednesday! We had lunch and coffee. And twas nice.

Then i went out with noi and jeco yesterday. we ate pizza (my favorite) and had bowling too...

i had a great week right??

ugh, but why do i feel like something's missing? haaay, whatever!

COME ON HAPPY THOUGHTS: and for that here are happy pictures from my last family outing:

8th waves .. one saturday of august

that's a new bathing suit i was wearing .. wait next year! im going to wear my two piece! hahaha

karlo is soo adorable! i think u should get back here and start a career in modelling! hihihi

gwapings ng mga pinsan ko! grabeee ;)

sigh

2005-08-30T11:16:00.001+08:00

'ur a great girl ... and ul make a great woman.
u need someone who will take away all your pain ...
and brush away ur tears.
u just need to move on ---
and ul find one great man ..'

these words made me cry last night.. yaiks! senti talaga ako :(
kakasawa na rin. maiyak sa mga ganitong usapan.
sawa at pagod na ako.
nakakatawa din kung paanong sa simpleng usapan na ganoon naiyak ako.
well, i just have to accept that im not yet completely healed.
still bruised.
time is the only healer ... wala na akong ibang maisip pa.

would this be my 1st car?

2005-08-30T11:06:00.000+08:00

i am thinking of buying a vokswagen.. well, i am not really a fan of the old car but i just need a vehicle that would move me to places.. that's why i am a 'wander girl' right?
dont ask why voks.
it's the only car that i can afford at this time. is it bad for a start? would u go with me for a ride when i get the voks?
im getting two opinions hir. confused.
hmmm ...
carry ko naman di ba? o ikakahiya ko lang din na sumakay dito? ugh ... need opinions.

i am not desperate

2005-08-19T07:41:00.000+08:00

'lovin someone sooo desperately is like holding a broken piece of glass u refuse to give up though ur hands are hurting
and when u finally let go, ur free from pain
ur free from pain
but u realize ur hands are empty..'

--- received this text from march. but it isnt true for me. maybe i havent moved on fully yet but i have let him go.